Parenting Pro on Helping Your ADHD or Autistic Child

I have known many families that long for a peaceful home but aren't sure how to get one. Siblings fight non-stop, your little angel makes it her life's ambition to pester everyone into insanity, your son who can hear you whisper "anyone want ice cream?" from three rooms away but can't hear you say "take out the trash" when he is standing right next to you. Does any of this sound familiar? When my daughter was born ten years ago I wanted a peaceful home, obedient child, and a money tree in the backyard. Alas, the money tree never did grow, but most days I do get my first two wishes! I started reading parenting books, magazines, newsletters, any thing I could get my hands on for the first few years after Willow's birth. I learned a lot, discounted a lot as not useful for my family, and finally came up with a few rules that have made life mostly pleasant. I have continued to read and learn, so I can add skills to my tool box, but these few rules I found and began to enforce when Willow was young have stayed the course and made life easier for everyone!

My favorite rule is the "Please Stop" rule. This rule applies to everyone in the household, and all guests that visit. It is simple. If someone is doing something that bothers or annoys you, tell him or her to "Please stop". When a rambunctious pre-schooler is jumping up and down yelling "Sponge-bob Square Pants" at the top of his lungs, and you are done hearing it, tell him "Please stop". Like magic, he does! The reason why is because when Dad is having great fun tickling him and he is done playing, he tells Dad "Please stop" and Dad immediately stops. When sister keeps crashing his favorite Hot Wheel into the wall, he says "Please Stop" and she must. This works as long as you, the parent, enforce the rule. Follow the rule yourself, and insist everyone in the family does as well. After a short time of enforcing the rule, you will rarely be called into disputes to do so as it is really a rule everyone likes!

Another great rule is "Yes, Mom" (or "Yes, Dad"). This is similar to how children were once raised in the South to answer back "Yes, Ma'am" and "Yes, Sir". Many parents now reject this and honestly I really don't want to be called ma'am- it makes me feel old! However, there is wonderful value in the "Yes, Mom" rule. I require my daughter to say "Yes, Mom" when I give an instruction. This accomplishes two things. First, I know she heard me. Second, somehow when children answer back that way they are committing themselves to obeying. I don't get it, but it works! I have never heard "Yes, Mom" and then had a child then not obey. Never! Now, occasionally they may say "No, Mom" while grinning widely. I then prompt the correct response and get it, along with the obedience. I don't require this response to teachers, librarians, or any one else besides family. Generally just mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa warrant a "Yes, Mom" response. When simply asking a question, a "yes" or "no" will suffice- I only require "Yes, Mom" in matters of obedience. I started this when Willow was a toddler, by prompting the required response. It has paid off wonderfully!

I hope these parenting tips help your home become more peaceful. Whether you have one child or ten children I am sure you want some peace in your life and your home, both for yourself and for your children.