Parenting: When to Say NO

Learning to say "no" to your children can be a tough thing to do. Although many parents feel that they are not spoiling their child or children, never telling them "no" can often lead to some of the same repercussions as if they were being spoiled. There are many parenting techniques that have been written across a variety of books, magazines, newspaper articles, and videos. One of the major life lessons that should be taught when parenting is the principle of "no."

Parenting involves protecting your child from many of the world's frightening aspects and this also includes the principle of "no." There are several times throughout a child's and teenager's life when they should be told "no." Unfortunately, many adults don't realize this parenting technique and so the child or teenager goes on in a downward spiral.

As a Child in a Candy Store

Parenting techniques should be carried everywhere the parent and child goes together and this includes the candy store, grocery store, and mall. There are many reasons why you may be unable to buy your child what he or she wants when in a store setting and this is where the parenting principle of "no" should come in. Simply telling your child "no" should be simple; of course the child is going to scream, cry, and possibly throw a temper tantrum, but caving into the pressure is one of the worst things that a parent can do. Going back on saying "no" to your child will only teach him or her that they'll be able to get what they want after they throw their temper tantrum.

Many adults use the parenting style of giving into their children when they whine or throw a tantrum simply to get them to be quiet or hush-up in a store or public setting. However, this parenting technique will only damage your parenting reputation in your child's eyes and it gives the child the wrong lesson. Learning to say "no" to a young child in the grocery store or other public setting is one of the first ways that the parenting technique of "no" probably is displayed.

Why "No" is Important

The parenting principle of "no" is important for many reasons. Several of these reasons manifest themselves in your child's life when he or she becomes an adolescent and a teenager. For example, what happens the first time that your child asks you if he or she can throw a high school party at your house? Would saying "no" be the "uncool" thing to do? Unfortunately many parents do feel this way and give in to high school late-night Friday parties and after-prom parties.

What happens the first time that your teenager is confronted with alcohol or drugs? If they confront you about it, are you going to collapse and tell them to experiment and find out instead of giving them a "no" answer? What happens when your teenager asks to borrow you credit card to buy some clothes or go on a shopping spree? The sad thing is, though, that enough parents don't say "no" and their teenagers end up living life on their own without their parent's guidance and support.

Many psychologists and child development experts have also outlined the importance of the parenting technique of saying "no" to your child. However, should parents be told by experts why "no" is important for their child or shouldn't they know some of this already? Make no mistake-- there is no substitute for saying "no" to your child and it will definitely teach them an important life lesson!