Parenting a Sensitive Soul

Much has been written about strong-willed children. Those kids are born with a strong sense of themselves and a desire to make the world comply with their whims. My second child has the tendency to fit that bill. With all the books geared toward the strong-wills, I guess the saying; "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" is true.

Sensitive children, on the other hand, fall on the far opposite side of the spectrum. These sweet souls often appear emotionally fragile. The smallest wrong can hurt their feelings, or start a meltdown. I know this because not only does my daughter earn this label, I too was a sensitive child.

If you have a sensitive soul under your roof, you may be wiping a lot of tears away. Speaking from experience, just because tears come easily, those tears do not always tell the whole story. Sometimes the feelings are just a little too intense and that leads to embarrassment, and more tears.

With that said the following ideas can help you successfully parent a sensitive child.

Focus on positives
It is much easier to focus on providing lots of small, positive experiences, than to be hyper-vigilant about controlling your child's environment. In fact, hyper-vigilant can create the feeling that the world is too dangerous for the child to handle. Insults, challenges and troubling situations will occur.

Show them how to cope
Modeling a healthy way to deal with problems is very effective with this type of child. For my daughter, seeing me upset is extremely hard for her. If I can maintain my composure, she gets a glimpse of how it can be done. There is no need to be fake, but you can let them know things will be okay.

Shorten social time
If your child often has a hard time handling group situations, keep them short and sweet. Positive experiences will build on themselves and your child will gain a sense of control.

Time outs
Time outs are very effective for sensitive children. Not as a punishment, but as a way to regroup and regain composure. Those who fall in the sensitive category are more often than not introverts and simply need the time away from commotion.

Give hints
If your sensitive child is hesitant about social gatherings, give them a hint of what they could do, say, or bring along to share. Sometimes it only takes a little push to get them over the hump. Sharing with friends is a great way for sensitive children to feel special. Whether they bring an extra doll to the playgroup, or an extra pencil to class, feeling useful is often a big part of what makes a sensitive child tick.

Good enough
Parenting a sensitive child can sometimes feel like you are dodging landmines, never quite knowing what is going to cause the next emotional breakdown. In order to avoid the tears, you may start trying to control situations in order to keep your little hothouse flower happy.

A study published in The Atlantic, calmed my worries that I was not doing enough to protect my little girl from situations that made her upset. David Dobbs reported that sensitive, vulnerable types certainly do better in good conditions, but they do not require extraordinary care.

"You needn't build the best, most carefully climate-controlled greenhouse ever made; a safe but stimulating environment will likely serve splendidly," said Dobb, "For parenting, this means doing the right thing most of the time, not all the time, and providing a good environment, not necessarily a great one, to make the most of a child's high responsiveness to experience."

Perfection is not required, sensitive children do not have to be coddled to thrive. The fact that they are highly responsive can be turned into a positive. It is a lot of fun to watch my daughter laugh. She deeply loves and appreciates all the good things in her life, and that is something to focus on.

More by Sylvie Branch:

Four Fun Ways to Burn Energy with Your Kids

Tips for Reinforcing Good Behavior

Helping a Child Deal with Disappointment