Parenting - Shifting Gears Emotionally

At this time in life young hearts erupt and gush a whole torrent of new, deep-felt concerns, things they rarely considered as a child. The meaning and purpose of life, questions about the future, interest in the opposite sex, an acute sense of fairness and justice, compassion toward those who are deprived in the world. Are these issues foaming inside you?

Did you realize that these issues dawn pretty much the same in many during their teen-age years? It is true. They are very personal to you, but many other persons about your age are feeling just what you feel inside. This emotional awakening is just as universal as the physical changes of puberty. Had you thought of that? Or did you think that these new feelings were yours alone?

Well, see if this makes sense to you:

A young man's first shave is no casual affair. He likely views it as a turning point in his life, so he gets thoroughly absorbed in the act. It's thrilling for him. But because this event is so meaningful to him would he be right in thinking that no one else has ever known or could ever know exactly how he feels inside? Every man who has ever shaved had a first shave, didn't he? And someday all the little brothers will have their first shave, too. It's no doubt a special time for each one but hardly a new or different experience for the male gender. Can you apply this illustration to the way a young person might realistically view his own emotional development?

When you stop and think about it, isn't it quite reasonable that we humans generally pass through the same basic steps of growth as we progress from childhood to adulthood? Our feelings during the adolescent years can be deeply personal and private, but they are not unique to us; they are just part of the human chemistry during this period of our life.

Does Growing Up Emotionally Make You an Adult?

So now your emotions have shot ahead to grown-up interests. Does that mean you are fully mature? Well, it would be proper for adults to acknowledge and appreciate your progress, but should you expect them to view you now as completely adult, an equal in every way?

Actually your experience in living is still quite limited. While you are beginning to feel the way adults do, you cannot always think as an adult does. You haven't lived that long so you haven't had the time to acquire background knowledge about many of life's ins and outs.

It will not always be this way. In fact, this chapter in your life has only a few pages. Your experience in living and the wisdom that comes with it will catch up to and even pass that early emotional spurt-just as the tortoise eventually outdistanced the hare. But until then you will do well to recognize how strong an influence this emotional arousal can be having on you.