Parenting Style Impacts Whether Teens Will Drink Heavily

Parenting a teenager can certainly be challenging at times. Parents have to help their adolescents deal with issues like sex, alcohol, drugs, peer pressure, and relationships. Unfortunately, research indicates parents cannot influence whether their teens drink alcohol or not. However, a recent study indicates parenting style has an impact on adolescents' heavy drinking behavior, which is defined as having five or more alcoholic drinks in a row.

The researchers at Brigham Young University examined parents' relationships with their teens in order to determine how they may affect adolescent drinking behavior. More specifically, they determined how the warmth and accountability parents share with teens impacts an adolescent's drinking behavior. Accountability levels were measured by determining how often parents knew who their teens were spending time with, where they went, and so forth.

The study included nearly 5,000 adolescents who were between the ages of 12 and 19 years old. Each adolescent completed questionnaires on their relationships with parents as well as their drinking behaviors.

The researchers discovered that adolescents who were least likely to drink heavily had parents who kept them accountable and had warm relationships with them. Adolescents were more than twice as likely to drink heavily when they had "strict" parents - parents who kept their teens accountable, but did not have warm relationships with them. Finally, teens were nearly three times as likely to participate in heavy drinking when their parents had warm relationships with them, but did not hold them accountable - the "indulgent" parents.

Given that adolescents are least likely to drink heavily when they have warm relationships with their parents and are held accountable, it seems parents should work on trying to develop these types of relationships with their teens. Below are some strategies you can use to help keep your adolescent accountable and for having warm relationships with him or her.

Check Your Teen's Story: One way you can build accountability with your teen is by checking out his or her stories. If you ask your teen where she's going and she tells you she is going to her friend's house to study, you could call the friend's parents and ask if this is true or if this really happened. If your adolescent says he's going to a football game at school with friends, you may check that there is a football game and you might even ask him who won when he gets home. Of course, you need not be overly protective of your teens, but making sure they are where they say they'll be and with whom they say they are going with on an intermittent basis will help you and your teen build an accountable, trusting relationship.

Set Rules and Expectations: Another way you can teach your adolescent to be accountable for his or her actions is by setting rules and outlining your expectations. You might have a rule that your teen must be in by 10pm on school nights and 11pm on weekends. You may have a rule that says your teen can only use the Internet for one hour each day. Set reasonable rules and expectations for your teen and explain the reasoning behind each rule or expectation.

Give Consequences: Consequences are important for teens; they help teens learn accountability and responsibility for their actions. For instance, if your adolescent says he is going to a friend's house to watch a movie and you call to verify this information with the friend's parents and discover that your teen isn't expected there, you will need to give your child a consequence for being dishonest. You may ground him for a week for being dishonest about his plans.

If you set a rule that says your teen can use the Internet for one hour each day and you find that she is using the Internet one night after you've gone to bed, you should give her an appropriate consequence for this action. Perhaps you could take away her Internet time for a few days as a consequence. Remember to give an appropriate consequence for the action your adolescent took. It is also important to explain to your child that when trust is lost it will take some time to rebuild it.

Love: One way to build a warm relationship with your child is to show him or her a lot of love. If he or she enjoys affection, give your child hugs and kisses. If your child is uncomfortable with physical affection, give him or her accolades and compliments on the things he or she does or accomplishes. You can also show your love by spending quality time with your teen. Set aside some time each week where you and your teen do something together. There are many ways to show your adolescent that you love him or her. Be creative and find different ways you can ensure your adolescent knows you care about him or her.

Communicate: Another important step to take in building a warm, close relationship with your child is to have open and honest communication. Talk to your teen about important issues in his or her life, such as school, relationships, drugs, alcohol, and peer pressure. Let your adolescent know that you aren't perfect by telling him or her some of the mistakes or poor choices you made and what happened as a result. Let your child know he or she can always come to you with problems, and when he or she does, respond with support, love, and appropriate suggestions for the situation.

Listen and Ask Questions: Finally, you can help build a warm relationship with your teen by listening to him or her and asking questions. Take an interest in what your adolescent enjoys and ask him or her about it. Ask your child about his or her favorite music and books and listen to your child talk about them. Ask your child about his or her favorite subject. Give your child plenty of chances to express his or her thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and when he or she does so, do not belittle or put his or her thoughts, feelings, and opinions down. It is also important to remember that while it is good to ask your child questions in order to show him or her you're interested in his or her life, asking too many questions of your teen may push him or her away.

Building accountable and warm relationships with teens is important in many ways. One way accountable, warm relationships may help adolescents is by decreasing the chance they will drink heavily.

Sources:

Psych Central: Parenting Style Influences Teen Binge Drinking:
http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/06/28/parenting-style-influences-teen-binge-drinking/15147.html

Empowering Parents: Straight Talk. Real Results: How to Create A Culture of Accountability in Your Home:
http://www.empoweringparents.com/How-to-Create-a-Culture-of-Accountability-in-Your-Home.php

News for Parents: Secrets of Parenting: Building A Great Relationship With Your Teen:
http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_secrets_to_parenting_teens.html