Parenting Styles in Literature -

Parents impact their children's lives in a variety of ways. Sometimes in ways quite visible, others more subtle. These influences manifest themselves negatively or positively. but they always manifest themselves. In children of alcoholics we can see the children either follow their parents down destructive roads, or they can be very adamant not to do so. Loving parents can inspire a return of that love, or the children can rebel from what they feel is smothering. With people all around us, the ways in which their parents influence their lives can take some time to recognize. With writers, we have the chance to see the affect parents have in their lives in a much more direct manner, through their written words. For some writers, the impact of their parents can be on display, as in the window of a department store on 5th Avenue in New York City. For other writers, we can observe it through a thin veil of attitudes and actions.

Eudora Welty's work Listening is an example of the department store window. Her parents had a direct impact on her life. "She read to me in the big bedroom in the mornings, when we were in her rocker together, which ticked in rhythm as rocked, as though we had a cricket accompanying the story" (pp34 - 35). The love her parents had for books is obvious. She refers to both her mother and father bringing worn books with them from their childhood (p35). Her father's book, Sanford and Merion in Words of One Syllable, lacking a front cover and looking as though he "might have gone to sleep on its coverless face" (p35). While her mother brought a set of Dickens with her from West Virginia that looked as though it had "been through fire and water" (p35).

Welty's parents love for their children comes through in her description of their sacrifices to make sure their children had all the things they did not, pours out onto the page. "They bought first for the future," she explains on how her parents slowly built up books they believed their children should grow up with (p34). And Welty's immense respect for them is out there for all the world to see. Their impact on her is palpable. She talks of her love of books and words and writing with an almost sensual exposition of own words. You can almost feel her joy.

Welty's parents positive and loving impact not only affected how she would later describe them in her writing, but in her actual writing itself. The passion and compassion of Welty glides off the page as we read Listening, and many of her other works.

In a stark comparison to Welty, we have Sherman Alexi and his Superman and Me. Where Eudora Welty not only speaks highly of her parents, we can sense the immense respect and appreciation in which she obviously held them. Alexi on the other hand barely mentions them in The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me, except as a side bar. The closest reference to how his father impacted his writing was anecdotal. "My father loved books, and since I loved my father with an aching devotion, I decided to love books as well" (p48). For the most part, Alexi claims a more 'I taught myself, you can too' attitude. "I refused to fail. I was smart. I was arrogant. I was lucky. I read books late into the night, until I could barely keep my eyes open." This arrogance is prevalent in Superman and Me and is opposte of his impressions of most Indians he met. It is a mold he wants to break out of. It is an attitude he tries to teach out of the students he addresses. Sometimes with success, sometimes not. "I throw my weight against their locked doors. Their door holds. I am smart. I am arrogant. I am lucky. I am trying to save their lives" (p50).

Even with this apparent anecdotal mention of his father, and his own self reported arrogance, Alexi is still a product of the influences of his father. He is still impacted by this man, whom he says "one of the few Indians who went to Catholic school, on purpose." though not directly showing the way his father influenced his life, we can still read it in his writings. In the statement "on purpose" we can read how incredulous this seems, even to him. He says it with such a flippant and admiring attitude, all at the same time. We know this from such lines in Superman and Me as "A smart Indian is dangerous, widely feared and ridiculed by Indians and no-Indians alike" (p48). He is referring to both his father, who had gone to a Catholic school "on purpose", and himself. From the lack of information we get about his father, we can presume that he felt his father was weak. It wasn't his father who pushed books on him, but he who forged into books (p48).

Though differing in lives lived and how parents influenced them, both Welty and Alexi show us how important parents are in forming who we turn out to be. Like Sanders' alcoholic father giving him traditions to pass along (Sanders, Inheritance of Tools, pp202-209) and an angry alcoholic nature to avoid passing along (Sanders, Under the Influence: Paying the Price of My father's Booze,pp209-219), Welty, with her quiet elegance, and Alexi, his sharp tongue and brisk arrogance, bring different perspectives out in their work. Yet they end up with similar end results from the influence of parents, love of books and love of writing.

Diane Baumrind (*) developed the theory of three general styles of parenting; authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Maccoby and Martin added neglectful to this list. With this list in mind, it would seem that while Welty's parents use an authoritative style of parenting and Alexi's father was more neglectful. These may be a very generalized view of both parenting styles in general and the styles employed by these two writers.

Looking at Welty's parents, they seemed to do more cultivating, albeit in an authoritative way, with her. They introduced her to their love of books and encouraged their children through careful selection of reading materials, to experience all they could.

Whereas with Alexi, it may at first seem his father was neglectful of him, and in some ways causing him to want his father's love by delving into his father's passion. But the picture the writer paints about life on the reservation is one of extreme hardship. If his father were truly neglectful, in the sense that most western cultures see it, then he would not have tried to educate himself and set an example for his son. He would not have done anything beyond providing for basic needs, such as food and housing. But his father did not do this. He went against the established grain and forged a path for his son to travel.

Although both different, and in Alexi's cases not quite understandable, Welty and Alexi's parents provided the fuel for their passions in writing. They provided, via differing means, a better life for their children than they may have had. We don't all agree on how parents raise their children, but if they do it with love and the best interest of the child in mind, who are we to fault. Given the circumstances of the life both Welty and Alexi's parents lived, they seemed to have provided both the love and the chance for them to mature and grow and have a better life.

Works Cited

Alexi, Sherman. "The joys of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me." The Arlington Reader. Ed. Lynn Z. Bloom and Louise Z. Smith. 2nd ed. Boston; Bedford/St. Martin, 2008. 47-50. Print.

Sanders, Scott Russell. "Inheritance of Tools." The Arlington ReaderThe Arlington Reader. Ed. Lynn Z. Bloom and Louise Z. Smith. 2nd ed. Boston; Bedford/St. Martin, 2008. 202-209. Print.

Sanders, Scott Russell. "Under the Influence: Paying the Price of My father's Booze". The Arlington ReaderThe Arlington Reader. Ed. Lynn Z. Bloom and Louise Z. Smith. 2nd ed. Boston; Bedford/St. Martin, 2008. 209-219. Print.

Welty, Eudora. "Listening." The Arlington ReaderThe Arlington Reader. Ed. Lynn Z. Bloom and Louise Z. Smith. 2nd ed. Boston; Bedford/St. Martin, 2008. 33-37. Print.

Works Consulted

Chapell, Mark S and Overton, Willis F. Development of logical reasoning in the context of parental style and text anxiety, Merrill-Palmer Quarterly. April 1998. Web.

* Grobman, K. H. Diane Baumrind and Parenting Styles. Web.