Parenting: Teach Your Children to Appreciate

Parents: I am not a licensed child psychologist, neither am I a family counselor, however I do have 12 years of experience (that's 12 years multiplied by 4 children) in parenting. This is just common sense guidance and good instruction. Read and see if this can benefit you.

Reality

The realities of life teach us that every day will not go as planned. By life's uncertainties we have to prepare and teach our children that there are no guarantee's in life. The best way to instill good values in a child is to start early, when they are young, but no matter how old a child is good advice should always be heeded. If you are able to buy your children everything they ask for that's great and a good thing, but what happens when you are unable too? Will they still appreciate you as a parent? Will they feel that you are doing a bad thing or that you don't love them? I don't have a problem with anyone buying their child everything they ask for. A lot of parents do this because they want to be able to give their child what they didn't have as a child. All of this is fine, however because children don't understand the daily grind (working and paying bills) they may take for granted all the great gifts they receive and become, should I dare say, "spoiled." This is because some children have not grasp the understanding of life's challenges. That's why you wouldn't leave your 11yr old the responsibility of paying the electric bill or water bill because they just don't have the understanding or knowledge of these things. This is not the case with every child but I think you get what I am saying.

Earn it

My advice is this, instead of giving a child everything they ask for, it may be better to allow them to work for some things that they want.

Give them work around the house, reward them after making good grades, and for being respectful or allow them to work for their allowance. In other words make them earn it. This gives them responsibilities which will help fight against plain old "laziness", and it will make them appreciate whatever is given to them a whole lot more. It also shows that a little work can really pay off which prepares them when they become adults. As adults we find that if we want to better ourselves we have to get out and work harder, whether it's working for a raise, starting a new business or going back to school. Children must learn to do the same. Not only that but they are the future so we need to help create some hard workers for the future. If you reward a child for doing well the opposite is true for those who are not doing well. By this I mean do not reward a child who has not earned his keep. Children who are not putting forth the effort should not be rewarded. Until you as a parent see improvement you should limit the rewards or gifts given. If they don't deserve that allowance don't give it! One thing to keep in mind is that you are the parent and that you have full authority and control over this. Know your children's strengths and weaknesses. Again I say you are in control!

Thanks and Appreciation

After your children have proven themselves, also remind them to be thankful for the necessities they already have. Necessities of life should never be taken for granted. Good health, food, clothes and shelter are necessities that we cannot do without. If you have all of these this is definitely a good thing! Regardless to what you have, or own in life there is always someone that is less fortunate. This is what we must instill in our children. Teaching your child to appreciate the necessities in life will build character and keep them grounded (not arrogant), it will also help your child understand priorities of life and will help mold a child with a good heart (kind).

Now with Christmas upon us I'm sure there are many parents out there without jobs, or facing financial difficulties. Even in times like these this can still be a great Christmas. Why? Well first of all I would say don't get caught up in the commercial aspects of Christmas which tries to get you to buy, buy, buy! Secondly is because having life's necessities is some of the best gifts you may already have. If you are a parent I encourage you to let reality dictate what's within reach and what's unreachable! You may have to talk to your children and let them know that because of your financial status you may not be able to buy everything they wanted. That's not wrong to say, and neither did you do a bad thing as a parent. That's just the truth and that's why teaching your children to appreciate life's necessities is important because they'll understand your financial situation a lot better.

When is a good time to teach your children

My wife and I often have family discussions about various things with our children. Sometime we just turn off the TV, sit down and talk or sometimes we may have a one on one with them individually. Anytime is a good time to talk to your children and you can never talk too much, but whatever you do make the time to talk to them! There are some things that children just don't understand and yes you will have to continue to reinforce rules and instructions, but good instructions for children is like the foundation of a house, after a while your children will build a house upon that foundation which you helped build.