Parenting Through Embarrassing Moments

I was on my way to the store when my husband called with a desperate request for dog shampoo. Apparently our son had just peed on our new puppy. My husband said he had taken our son's pants off after an accident and was in the middle of getting him clean clothes when the puppy indicated that she was about to have an accident. He let the puppy outside and when he arrived with clean pants both the puppy and our son were in the front yard, and only one of them was urinating.

I initially freaked out not only because of what the neighbors probably saw. I was over thinking the ramifications of having a son that pees on animals. Was he jealous of the new puppy and this was an aggressive act? Was he going to be arrested later in life for lewd behavior? What had I done or not done as a mother for this to happen? By the time I got home with the dog shampoo I had calmed down enough to ask our son why he had peed on the puppy. Our 3 year old son said he just had to go potty.

I took a deep breath and explained that it is never okay to pee on living things. I went on to say that pee belongs in the potty unless you are camping. He accepted that and we haven't had a recurrence of inappropriate bathroom behavior.

Even though my mind read into the act, my son was just probably taking advantage of the lack of oversight to test his aim. He was not embarrassed or ashamed; he just had learned not to do that again. Even though we as parents might be mortified, we have to play it down for our children. It does not do any good to make your child feel bad for making a mistake.

The next time I was able to use this technique was while my son and I were shopping at the grocery store. My son smelt something bad however I did not smell anything. He first asked me if I had farted to which I replied no! He then proceeded to point to customers one after another and inquire about their digestive status. I was tempted to leave the cart and run out of the store as fast as I could. Instead I went to an empty corner and explained that there was no need to find out who had passed gas. Furthermore I told him it was rude to point at people and he should stop doing that. I can't say he has completely stopped talking about farts, but there has been a significant decrease in the frequency of those talks in public.

I cannot control how red my face gets, but I can control my tone and the words I use to parent through the most embarrassing moments. My goal as a mother is to teach my son right and wrong without making him feel bad about himself, embarrassed, or ashamed.