Parenting Tips: Easing Your Teen into Privileges and Responsibilities

Being a parent of a teen daughter I can tell you that I think a lot about the times ahead that hold so much for her. It may seem silly to some parents but I take my responsibility as her mother very seriously. It is because I love her so much that I am easing her into the privileges and responsibilities instead of handing them over without making sure that she is ready to respect them. By sharing my knowledge and expertise in this subject I am hoping that more parents will see the importance of these responsibilities.

Every teen is preparing for life and needs to take on certain responsibilities to face the world at large. But, how do you know when your child is ready for this transition? Well let's first learn about the most important privilege and responsibilities and how allowing a teen that is not ready can impact their future and many others as well.

Privileges and Responsibilities: Teen Drivers Behind the Wheel

If you randomly stop a teen every few minutes and ask them if driving at 16 is a right, 8 out of 10 will say yes. But the fact is that driving is a privilege and one of the most serious responsibilities a teen can have. However, parents today seem to be of the mentality that it is their right to have a license at 16 as well.

According to RMIIA:
National Teen Driving Statistics

"Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for teenagers.

16 year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.

16-year-olds are three times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.

3,467 drivers age 15-20 died in car crashes in 2005.

Drivers age 15-20 accounted for 12.6 percent of all the drivers involved in fatal crashes and 16 percent of all the drivers involved in police-reported crashes in 2005.

Graduated drivers license programs appear to be making a difference. Fatal crashes involving 15- to 20-year olds in 2005 were down 6.5 percent from 7,979 in 1995, to the lowest level in ten years.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates the economic impact of auto accidents involving 15-20 year old drivers is over $40 billion.

According to a 2005 survey of 1,000 people ages 15 and 17, conducted by the Allstate Foundation

More than half (56 percent) of young drivers use cell phones while driving,

69 percent said that they speed to keep up with traffic

64 percent said they speed to go through a yellow light.

47 percent said that passengers sometimes distract them.

Nearly half said they believed that most crashes involving teens result from drunk driving.

23 percent of teen drivers killed in 2005 were intoxicated, according
to NHTSA.

Statistics show that 16 and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger (IIHS)."

According to the CDC

"In the U.S. during 2004, 4,767 teens ages 16 to 19 died of injuries caused by motor vehicle crashes. During 2005, nearly 400,000 motor vehicle occupants in this age group sustained nonfatal injuries severe enough to require treatment in an emergency department (CDC 2006).

The risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among 16- to 19-year-olds than among any other age group. In fact, per mile driven, teen drivers ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely than older drivers to crash (IIHS 2006).

In 2005, teenagers accounted for 10 percent of the U.S. population and 12 percent of motor vehicle crash deaths (IIHS 2006).

The presence of teen passengers increases the crash risk of unsupervised teen drivers; the risk increases with the number of teen passengers (Chen 2000).

Teens are more likely than older drivers to underestimate hazardous situations or dangerous situations or not be able to recognize hazardous situations (Jonah 1987).

Teens are more likely than older drivers to speed and allow shorter headways (the distance from the front of one vehicle to the front of the next). The presence of male teenage passengers increases the likelihood of these risky driving behaviors among teen male drivers. (Simons-Morton 2005).

Among male drivers between 15 and 20 years of age who were involved in fatal crashes in 2005, 38% were speeding at the time of the crash and 24% had been drinking (NHTSA 2006a, NHTSA 2006b).

Compared with other age groups, teens have the lowest rate of seat belt use. In 2005, 10% of high school students reported they rarely or never wear seat belts when riding with someone else (CDC 2006b).

Male high school students (12.5%) were more likely than female students (7.8%) to rarely or never wear seat belts (CDC 2006b).

African-American students (13.4%) and Hispanic students (10.6%) were more likely than white students (9.4%) to rarely or never wear seat belts (CDC 2006b).

At all levels of blood alcohol concentration (BAC), the risk of involvement in a motor vehicle crash is greater for teens than for older drivers (IIHS 2006).

In 2005, 23% of drivers ages 15 to 20 who died in motor vehicle crashes had a BAC of 0.08 g/dl or higher (NHTSA 2006b).

In a national survey conducted in 2005, nearly 30% of teens reported that within the previous month, they had ridden with a driver who had been drinking alcohol. One in ten reported having driven after drinking alcohol within the same one-month period (CDC 2006b).

In 2005, among teen drivers who were killed in motor vehicle crashes after drinking and driving, 74% were unrestrained (NHTSA 2006b).

In 2005, half of teen deaths from motor vehicle crashes occurred between 3 p.m. and midnight and 54% occurred on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday (IIHS 2006). "

So, it boils down to this ... is you are one of those parents that don't really spend quality time with their child, who doesn't have a clue as to what is really going on in their lives, and would prefer to live with blinders to escape the fact that you have become disinterested and who further thinks your child is a perfect angel that would never drink and drive or use drugs before getting behind the wheel then you are willing to risk their lives for the sake of your ignorance.

The facts don't lie. Marijuana use, girls that can't put down their cell phones, boys that are obsessed with fast cars, etc. all tell you something about how teens may view their responsibilities of driving. It amazes me how many parents claim 'a horrible and tragic accident' when people are killed despite the evidence that shows their teen being the guilty party. Street racing, cell phones, and drug/alcohol use are not accidents. If your teen is not ready to respect the privilege of driving then you, as the parent, should not allow them to have a license... if you do, you are just as guilty for the actions of your teen as they are.

Privileges and Responsibilities: How to Decide if your Teen is Ready

Determining if your teen is ready to take on the ultimate privilege, which is driving, you need to first remain close to you teen and know at all times what they are doing, where they hang out and with what groups of friends they associate with. Remember, just because they are a teen doesn't mean that your job as their guardian is over... if anything it is more complex and sometimes more difficult than ever before.

If you see that your teen may not be ready then you need to explain why so they can correct the issue and prove that they are responsible. Monitor their behavior over time and if you see that they are indeed taking it seriously, preparing for the time ahead, then you can start the procedures with them.

Privileges and Responsibilities: Tips for Safety

To be sure that your teen is ready to promote safe driving habits before allowing them to get a license you might want to try the following:

Make certain that when your teen gets into the car they turn off their cell phone so they are not distracted, or practice not answering while in motion regardless of who it is. If it is an important number pull off to the side of the road, shut off the car and then allow them to take the call. This is a practice that you, as the role model, should also be applying each and every day.

If you have reason to suspect that your child does (or has ever done) drugs or drinks then you should have that child in counseling. Giving them a weapon of such magnitude is just plain stupid. Would you hand them a loaded gun? A vehicle is just as deadly under the influence.

Suppose the teen you are raising can't get enough of fast cars, watching street racing etc. First education is key. There are program specifically designed for speed freaks. Not to say it is all bad many careers have been spawned from that passion but those careers had years of education building them up. If you notice that 'improvements' are being made on the car you provided or the vehicle of a friend you might want to find out exactly what the 'improvement' does by reliable sources. If the upgrades are legal or illegal means of making the cars go faster and is common among illegal street racers then your teen is hanging out in the wrong crowd and should not be allowed to drive yet.

Imagine if more parents took the time and cared for their children how many teen deaths could be prevented. Take your parenting position seriously and don't give a child that is not ready the means to kill themselves and others when they have so much growing up to do first.