Parenting Tips for Special Needs Kids

It's amazing how many parents, long ago, successfully raised their kids without the help of books and classes. The thought of 'parenting skills' being something we must learn, in fact, is fairly new. So does that mean that these skills aren't needed or just that these parents are the ones that made the first mistakes for us to learn from? No one was ever born knowing all the answers right? So where did the parenting class teachers get the answers from? Books, research studies etc. simply put... from history!

It's all those parents of long ago passing on what they learned from trial and error. And it's one of the most valuable collections of knowledge we as parents can tap into. Every parent makes mistakes, the important thing is to learn from those mistakes as well as to help others keep from making the same mistakes later.

If you are starting your journey into parenthood, there will be ample free advice given to you. If you are a parent, you know already that there is no set answer to anything. Every child is different, as are the parents and the relationships involved.

For example; Mr. Smith down the street can tell you how he handles little Johnny but that same method could backfire completely when tried on little Susie.

Aside from the basics, the only true way to learn parenting is to do it first hand. In building a relationship with your child you will learn what methods work best for that child. That doesn't mean, still, that the same methods will work just as well for your second or third child either. Each child will have different needs. Especially if your children are special needs children.

Example: If you have a first child that has A.D.H.D. (which can not technically be diagnosed until they are age 5) it can be quite a challenge to learn how to handle him/her. Then you have a second child, And they tell you he/she has A.D.H.D. as well, but none of the A.D.H.D. methods you have discovered so far do any good for them. So you fumble around, and question your own parenting, until he/she is finally diagnosed bi-polar at 13 years old. Now you have a whole new way of parenting to learn! Then you might have another child that is A.D.D. Guess what... once again, you will find that you need a new way of parenting. Not everything you try with one will work for another, even inside of the same disorder. This is because they don't have the same mind set. Everyone is different. So everything you do as far as discipline or education must be tailored to that particular child's comprehensive style.

These days, however, there is a lot more help out there specifically designed for special needs children than there was 18 years ago. Statistical averages can be used fairly accurately now, because there is finally enough data to study. What that actually means is, the professionals have better systems and resources to help, so people are starting to become "informed".

Sharing information is what people do. But now, the information being shared isn't so filled with questions. Instead, luckily, people have 'been there and done that' enough by now. So that people you will be relying on for help have more knowledge. And can better help others with advice for their special needs kids. Once again history at work... All those parents of not so long ago are passing on what they have learned so that we can avoid the mistakes they made.

So, what am I saying with all of this? If you need help being a parent, talk to another parent that has been in your position. Not to a teacher that has never had kids, let alone special needs kids. I am not saying that there's no need to see a teacher or doctor for help with your parenting skills by any means. I'm just saying that they don't always have the COMPLETE answers that you need. The ones that you need for dealing with the day to day events that only the 'been there and done that' people can understand.

Check in to the programs that are tailored to the specific problems at hand. Don't just go to any parenting class expecting to get the help that you need. I recommend a Love and Logic class if your children are "normal" and a CHADD group if they are A.D.H.D. or any of the variations of A.D.D.

You can also look on the internet for valuable resources for other types of special needs kids such as Bi-polar, Anxiety, Depression etc. I wish you the best of luck in your parenting journey!

And keep in mind that patience is THE most important skill a parent needs to have.