Parenting Tips: How to Stop Temper Tantrums

As parents we face some of the hardest challenges of our lives. Being a parent and published authority on parenting skills I can assure you that one thing that has a 'chain reaction' or 'snow ball' effect is a temper tantrum. These can bring the most stable parent to a crumbling position and start off a chain reaction in other children that are witnessing it. This article is designed to help you stop a temper tantrum before it even gets started and if a tantrum begins, despite your best efforts, you can discover ways that will help you keep your cool and your child (or children) keep theirs.

The grocery seems to be one of the main places that children throw temper tantrums. This is brought on by a pattern that parents tend to form early on. The pattern is simple, a treat bought for the child on nearly every trip to the store. Believe it or not this spawns a set expectancy and if ever you choose not to do it a child will react anyway they can to get your attention and force you to continue the pattern. So, for parents that are new to the whole parenting job you should always show limitations. Make sure that there are several times consecutively that nothing is bought for your child's immediate 'happiness' like gum, candy and toys. You don't want to sink into the mess of buying their cooperation and respect.

If your child is already used to this pattern and you can't seem to stop the temper tantrums then you need to reinforce your parenting position. Parenting is a never ending spectrum of responsibility and if a parent is refusing to teach their children right from wrong on a daily basis and in every walk of life right down to the temper tantrums that are thrown then they need to reevaluate their motive for being a parent and educate themselves on how to regain authority through positive parenting avenues.

Show the child, or children, that the parent makes decisions as they deem best and they will do whatever necessary to make sure that rules will be followed, no means no, and a child has no say in the parenting process. You may need to enforce restrictions or appropriate punishments but the message will be clear.

Don't expect miracles that all parenting issues regarding temper tantrums will be gone over night. It took them a long time to learn to behave this way and logically it will take them time to learn proper behavior.

Temper tantrums are also a way for kids to communicate and express confusion, anger, and even sadness. A parent should first find out if a temper tantrum is a temper tantrum or if it is a more serious issue that is surfacing. Young children between the ages of 2-6 often times use temper tantrums to tell their parents that something is wrong. Kids 7 and up usually only use temper tantrums as a way of getting attention. Now, the reasons may vary as to why the temper tantrum is used depending on the child and the situation but one thing needs to remain changeless... how you deal with it.

If you suspect the cause is an underlying problem than you should be talking often with the child until it is all resolved. If it is still unchanged then a therapist or counseling through your church may need to become involved to find the deeper, and sometimes hidden, meaning behind them. Regardless, if a temper tantrum is affecting your life then you need to stop it immediately as not only does it affect you and your relationship with the child involved but other children watch this behavior and mimic it... for large families this can be very problematic.