Parents: Give Your Children Choices, Not Commands

Some parents believe that telling their child what to do is best for them. Although this may be true in some cases, and it is definitely easier, you may be depriving your child from learning to be independent. A better alternative in some cases is to give you child a few choices and letting them decide.

Needless to say, it is easier to tell children what to do; very rarely do the make quick decisions. Taking the time to allow them to decide is worth it in the long run. Your child will learn how to make decisions, live with their decisions and be more independent. Although it is tough to watch them make bad choices or go against your advice, this is a good first step teach them to live their own life.

This should start at a very young age when they are developing their cognitive abilities. Keep in mind that giving them too many choices will be confusing for toddlers and young children. Start with just two choices when issues come up; increase it gradually as the opportunities arise. Something as simple as what they want to drink or what game to play is a good start.

It is easier to teach decision making at young age. As children grow older they are more set in their ways and changing their habits becomes more difficult. It does take patience on the parent's part at a younger age. In our fast paced world we want answers right away. Toddler will take their time to contemplate every decision.

Remember to make them stick to their decision. The saying may go "changing my mind is a women's prerogative", this is not a good habit to develop. Being decisive is a stronger character to have; as an adult your child will gain respect. Teach them to live with the choice they made. A great example is a library book choice. Two chapters into the book, they may decide they don't like it, but make them finish the book. They may find out they enjoyed it in the end, but more importantly they learned they can't quit what was started.

Parenting is a challenge at times. In today's world everyone is busy and life flies by. You may think that there will be time in the future to teach your child these important lessons, but that is not the case most of the time. Take the opportunities to create character traits and values in your child during the small moments; when they don't even realize the morals they are soaking in. Over time, the small decisions they make today, will turn them into an independent thinker in the future.