Parents, Special Education Teachers & Autism
One Mom's Opinion, an Autistic Child and His Teacher
Now, I'm quite certain not all teachers feel this way, but I have run into it a few times. I have cute kids, and they're smart and they know how to work the charm factor. Maybe that's part of it. But, they are still my children and I am the decision maker, as I feel all parents should be.
In deciding what's best for my youngest son (should he go to kindergarten or wait a year) and in checking out all available options as he is Autistic and has special educational needs and supports, I've run into some opposition. Now, I love his teacher, and she obviously loves Donovan, but why can't she discuss the options with me in an open manner instead of continually reverting to her one way of thinking? That he should remain with her for another year?
I don't think Donovan is being cognitively challenged enough to repeat another year with her. His peer group is not stimulating enough on that level even though he has some social issues to overcome, that's why Donovan was moved to her room from the program he was in before - a need for more cognitively challenging stimuli, and developmentally appropriate peers. If the classroom isn't challenging him now, it definitely won't in another six months. It also won't provide the all day stability Donovan needs, but her recommendation persists even though she has admitted that she agrees he does need an all day program.
I understand that it's awesome that my son's teacher invests so much of herself in him that she can't bear to see him leave, but I wish it weren't an ongoing challenge. I wish more information on what was available to him outside the program he is in now would be more readily forthcoming from her knowledgeable lips. I wish she didn't want to hold onto him so tightly that she won't let him grow.
And I think, am I like that? I wish she wouldn't make me doubt my own decisions of what is best for him, but I guess that's part of her job too. Ultimately, I have to go with my gut, and my observations and my instincts and that's to let him move on to Kindergarten this fall despite the obvious obstacles he will have. I want to let him grow and evolve as much as I want to hold him close and never let him out of my sight or into the care of anyone else. I want to protect him, and provide for him, but I have to remember that I don't own him either.
So, I'm gathering the paperwork to register him for kindergarten, and I'm looking into the learning disabilities programs and I'm hoping that after spending the hours I do with him each day that I am making the best decision for Donovan. It's hard being a parent, but I bet it is often much harder being a teacher. I hope I am both to my son.
Published by Lauri Crowe
Lauri Crowe is a self-representing artist and writer, residing in Livingston County, Michigan with her two sons. She expresses her life experiences in words and images that capture a moment, and instruct in... View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentIEPs are legally binding documents that force schools and teachers to address the needs of your child. If we didn't have IEPs, schools could put special needs students in a class and essentially teach them nothing. They wouldn't have to provide special equipment or services (Speech Therapy, Physical Therapy, Adapted Physical Education, Occupational Therapy, etc.). Honestly, not having an IEP would make the school's job much easier, and it would remove pretty much all of a parent's control over what constitutes a free, appropriate public education (FAPE). That said, IEP meetings can be contentious and stressful. It sounds like Michelle has had very bad experiences with IEPs, which is unfortunate. However, IEPs are more for the student and the family's rights than to protect the school.
Michelle, I am sorry that you feel this way about IEP's. IEP's are your child's Individualized Education Plan, it is ONLY there to help best serve your child academically to help ensure the best possible future for your child. It seems as though there may be other problems with perhaps the school or something.
Sorry you have had such bad luck.
VIda P. ANthony Gomez - I agree in echoing your sentiment that parental goals are important. I have had much better, positive and productive experiences since changing schools and my son has been in a general education setting since Kindergatern - now in third. We have our daily struggles, but we also have many more triumphs than tragedies these days thanks to a fantastic education team looking after his needs when I am not there to do so.
Michelle - I'm sorry that you have had bad experiences as well. Mine continue to get better. I also think that calling all teachers numbskulls is harsh - there are some very dedicated teachers out there. I think is every parents duty to school at home even if their children are in public or private school situations. It is by example that we teach our kids. Too many parents in today's society expect that their children will just be taught and taken care of by others while the parents goes off and "lives" their "own" life. Parental responsibility overrides teacher responsibility .
Actually, I feel that an IEP is a valid contract between the parent and the student. If you educate yourself on IEP language and special education rules you CAN come to a good resolution for your child through the IEP process. I have found that different schools are willing to share their knowledge with you, while some will tell you as little as possible. Our recent IEP experiences have been wonderful and the IEP as well as the school has served my children's needs exceptionally well without too many bumps in the road.
all teachesr are numbskulls that are way to over paid .I work very hard sometimes 16 hours a day .I make way less than a teacher does and i work with physically and mentally challenged individuals. I have to work year round and have had one vacation in 20 years umlike the teacher who is gauranteed a 3 month vacation and make twice as much as me and still screams for more .Not to mention every damn holiday off and over a month of early outs and late starts for school .They make me sick. I had enough and chose to home school. Things are much better .My kids do way better now and have learned things a teacher could'nt in all the time they were in school.Best thing we could have done is to get them out of that hell hole .
Hi Lauri,
I am a service provider(an educational case managaer) and a sibling of an adult with autism. Ideally it would be wonderful if your IEP team could discuss with you all the options for your child based on his needs as determined by his goals and objectives. I often tell families, our jobs end at 3:00, and at age 22. Therefore, your desires and dreams for your son are very important. In addition, I also share that I have been a professional in special education for 10 years and will help create opportunities for children based on that experience. I hope that you can create exactly what you are looking for, for your son--and that your team can help you do that.