Parents' Speech to Our Son at His Bar Mitzvah Service

A son's Bar Mitzvah or daughter's Bat Mitzvah is a joyous occasion that inspires reflection, prayer, service and celebration. The speech is often given at the pulpit, either before or after the Torah service. Our Rabbi instructed us to make our speech about our wishes and prayers for our child, not a recital of his accomplishments and sparkling personality. We tried to balance our prayers, thoughts, hopes and dreams for our son with a few of his awesome traits.

We read our speech together, alternating parts so that it truly was from us; one speech, and not two separate talks. There is no perfect or right way to craft your speech ~ it's highly personal and unique, and should be delivered the way that makes you most comfortable. My hope is that our speech inspires you and causes you to reflect on your child and your upcoming simcha ~ your day of joy and pride!

Today we share our thoughts and prayers with you. We decided to do this the old-fashioned way, by speaking directly to you, instead of texting, tweeting, emailing or making a conference call.

Today marks a day of transition, when you become an adult member of the Jewish community. Leading Shabbat morning services is a significant achievement; the end result of your months of study and practice.

Your Torah portion focuses on plans for building the Tabernacle. It is fitting that you received a parasha with blueprints for construction ~ you have always been an architect, sculptor, engineer and carpenter in your spare time. You are a creative soul ~ I marvel at your designs ~ so clever, unique and sturdy. Your imagination results in constructions that few would have the patience or vision to plan and execute.

Just as God created our universe from a cloud of dust, you too seem to enjoy making something out of nothing. I pray that you continue to nurture your creative talents. Use them wisely and remember to give your own gifts to help others. Your Bar Mitzvah is just one step in your Jewish journey. You have so many gifts to offer the world: your friendship, your creativity, and your knowledge of our traditions.

The tradition of becoming a bar mitzvah comes with benefits and responsibilities. More than a half-century ago, your grandfather Jay continued this tradition in Waterloo, Iowa. That same year, halfway around the world in Alexandria, Egypt, your grandfather Joseph (Papi) fulfilled his obligation to Judaism. Your mother became Bat Mitzvah in Texas, and thirty-three years ago, I wore Tefilin at my bar mitzvah at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. We hope in the future, you will continue to pass this heritage onto your children.

Passing the Torah down to you today is truly one of the highlights of my life, and your Dad's and grandparents as well. I trust that, as you grow into adulthood, you will continue to fulfill the mitzvot, you will cherish your family and Jewish heritage, and you will offer from your heart, the gifts you hold most dear.

I know it was a challenge learning to chant your Torah and Haftarah, but I admire the way you accepted your responsibility and worked diligently to achieve this important goal. I also know it's not easy having your Mom and your Grandmom pay such careful attention to your Hebrew practice and point out your mistakes ~ some might even say it's annoying. But, you managed it and learned more patiently than other students might have. Your results are clearly worth it!

Just as your Torah portion explained giving gifts for building the tabernacle, you gave the gift of yourself for your mitzvah project. Volunteering at Castlewood Canyon State Park involved hard, physical labor. Now, your hard work will benefit all who visit and enjoy the park.

Always remember that gifts which come from within, are equal to, or greater in value, than those bought with money. Your volunteer efforts were especially meaningful, as our family has always loved the outdoors. We hope you continue to cherish nature, as it is truly God's non-electronic, non-digital playground.

The last 13 years have gone by so quickly, and your future looks bright. Remember: Never forget what it's like to be a kid. Childhood is so magical, so joyful, that my own memories of being a kid bring tears to my eyes. Having fun playing, without any worries, is truly an opportunity to be cherished. There is no greater joy for us than watching you play, laugh, grow, and enjoy yourself to the fullest.

As you grow older, you'll experience both opportunities and choices-some more difficult to make than others. Hazards and speed bumps may stand in your way, and you should think carefully about the choices you make. The Torah and God's Commandments are the basic principles of Judaism which should serve as a guide for your choices.

Always remember that life is not about how much you have, but about what you do with what you have. We hope that the ideals we have taught you, and the role models we are, will help you navigate through your next stage in life. Although you've already begun to think and act independently, we will always be here to give you advice when you ask for it ~ and sometimes even when you don't.

Randy Pausch wrote wisely in his book, The Last Lecture, about overcoming obstacles in your way:

Brick walls are not meant to turn you back.....they are there for you to find a way around. The brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

(Both Together)

It is with great pride that we, and all your family and friends, witness your momentous accomplishment here today. So, imagine the impossible, believe in the incredible.

Mazel Tov, Congratulations. We love you dearly.

Related Links:

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs Sparkle with MitzvahChic

Five Inspiring Ideas for Planning a Bar Mitzvah Service and Celebration

The True Meaning of Bar Mitzvah: A Remembrance from Alexandria, Egypt