Part II: Children's Protective Services - Joke of All Time

Another day has come and gone and still my daughter lacks protection. I'm trying to decide how to write the new occurrences with Georgia Child Protective Services (DFACS). No other way to start then to just let things flow. Yesterday I went to a meeting with members of protective services. I was told by the social worker that interviewed my daughter that her supervisor wanted to explain to me why the abuse of my child by her father was unsubstantiated. I agreed to go to this meeting and yesterday I did.

I was told the case would be open so that my daughter and I could meet with a case worker with DFACS. These were my expectations when I walked into the office. Instead of speaking with one individual over the reason why the case wasn't substantiated, and just being introduced to the case worker to set up further appointments I was outright ambushed. Not to sound like a western movie, but I kind of wish I would have taken a round to the back then mowed over like a deer caught in head lights. There was a supervisor, the social worker, case worker, an intern and most likely a hidden camera.

Before the supervisor entered, I explained to those that were in the room why I didn't understand my daughter's word wasn't enough to carry along with past evidence over her father's word that he wasn't abusing her. I can be very emotional, not yelling and belligerent, but more on the blubbering crying sort, because of containing the anguish of the loss of options to protect my child. Funny enough the supervisor came in and told me she was going to stop me (from talking), because there was nothing to substantiate the abuse. Despite the hospital first placing that my child's anus had been torn: 1st diagnosis rectal fissure and 2nd diagnosis suspected abuse, that my child was not being hurt. The supervisor said nothing in regards to the fact that a child psychiatrist previously stated that my child had a phobia of her father.

Yet during the experience of being emotionally power driven into the ground with a 2x4, I was told that out of everyone that was questioned another therapist center that claimed to have done an evaluation on my daughter and placed my child in a room with an intern that played with her asked her no questions, that they didn't see any signs of abuse. If my memory serves me correctly the intern told me earlier before her internship was up that her therapy would continue, and a few days before her leaving she said my daughter wasn't showing anything her play, as a matter of fact my daughter would not talk about her father. I was also told that if the hospital that diagnosed my daughter, above, thought something was wrong that they would have called the police. I don't know the protocol on calling the police at the hospital but I do know that you are supposed to have an address for the accused so that the proper jurisdiction can respond, which I didn't have, therefore the hospital social worker was called.

To avoid going through that time period I'll bring you back to yesterday 2/14/2008. The supervisor told me that she was told by the someone at the center whom I've never met, that was providing assistance to my daughter and therapy to me for domestic violence that they believed that the therapy that I received with an intern was helping me.

I hope you guys have been paying attention thus far. The script just became flipped.

No longer was my daughter's father an issue, you see I became the problem. My mother who had gone with me was forced to leave the room by the supervisor, because the supervisor felt as though she was monopolizing the conversation when my mother noticed what was being done. Upon my mother being removed and the supervisor's return she began to ask me probing questions about my mother and my self. She wanted to know if my mother had ever suffered from domestic violence and have I ever been sexually abused. Of course I told her no because even if my mother had it wasn't any of their business and I told her no to the latter, because had they read my daughter's medical records like they agreed they would have saw that I stated that I had been in the hospital social workers report. So why waste your time when it makes no sense to at the risk of losing my child.

I didn't believe that had anything to do with the purpose for me even being there. The supervisor believed that my mother was attempting to control the conversation and which I kindly corrected her by letting her know that my mother isn't controlling by any means, that if she is watching her child being hurt and torn apart and made to seem mentally unstable which I'm not, then she is going to respond as a parent suppose to. Either way I was threatened with the losing custody of my daughter when the supervisor stated that she didn't want my child to feel as though she had to take care of me and that therapy would be good for me because her safety was paramount to them.

First of all, I have a four year old, who I love and take care of no matter the circumstance. The supervisor further went to tell me after giving the social worker the evil eye in regards to the doubt of my child being hurt that nothing was said that they believed was considered abuse. I ask you to read this article and the previous article to know what my daughter told the social worker, and if you are a social worker please let me know if you consider this any form of abuse.

Either way the social worker said she didn't find that anything was wrong, that my daughter didn't say she was afraid of her father. Afraid of her father?! I guess it never occurred to them that many children that are being abused are given gifts to be made comfortable and they made not moves to provide her with safety from visitations through their investigation, yet a four year old has confirmed something abusive was occurring, to the social worker, and the same social worker said nothing besides my daughter stating that her father and step sister had messed with her cookies (vaginal area).

Can you believe the supervisor told me if something was occurring I would be doing something more. I guess because I'm not toting a pistol and knocking on every door to kill a man for abusing my daughter that I'm not doing enough. Is not doing enough considered depending on the court system and social services to help me protect her? If so, I guess then I'm not doing enough. My God and my heart no matter what will allow me to harm this man because my child would lose me and I would have to later defend why I fatally hurt her father. That's not something I ever want to explain to my child or something I could do.

Instead of receiving help I was basically ordered to sign a paper that stated that I wouldn't take my daughter to the doctor an extreme amount of times (which I have not done). That I receive therapy for my issues (my only issue being protecting my daughter), and that I stop dwelling on this man (which I can care less about outside of my daughter's safety) because we have a past history that has a lot of strings and issues.

Let me give you my history compared to the history of the abuser. I have a BBA in International Business, a MBA in Global Technology Management, was certified in Phlebotomy, was trained as a nursing assistant, attend church on a regular basis, no criminal felony or misdemeanor background, never had detention from preschool into high school or beyond. I've had probably two speeding tickets my whole life, drug free, drama free, parent of one child, domestic violence survivor, and amateur photographer.

That was my background now here is his to compare:

Attended University did not graduate, arrested for the possession of marijuana and an unregistered firearm, arrested for dui, arrested for violating a temporary protective order, pending indictment for aggravated stalking, anger issues, drug usage and abuse, excessive alcohol consumption, current possession and access to firearms even though a permanent protective order that will never expire has been placed, pending case of contempt of protective order, shifty payment of child support, three abandonment warrants for child support filed, detention from middle school possibly elementary on up. HA!

Yet I am the person who needs therapy. To answer your question nothing has been done to him because as I said before according to what the protective services supervisor told me that no one substantiated any of my past concerns which this being the third investigated in four years of my child's life. She told me they didn't have enough evidence, so I'm going to assume when I'm called to the morgue to identify my child that will be enough evidence, or that I will still be blamed because I sent her, because I was ordered by a court to do so or risk being jailed, lose custody, and/or being fined if I violate the visitation order.

I now have no choice but to go to therapy, it should be very interesting, and meet with the case worker at about two times a week or risk having my daughter taken from me. For future reference when you report abuse that you suspect is occurring to your child or any child by a family member beware that you don't become the new 'scape goat like me. But in the illustrious words of my Lord "Stronger is he that is in me than he that is in the world" So still I fight and so should you.