Passion, Without it You Have Depression

What makes the musician become a hugely successful rock star? What quality guarantees almost any field of endeavor will take the pursuer to great heights? Passion drives a person not only to be the best they can be, but even higher, to be the best there is.

You may ask, "Then why is it there are so few people at the top"? It's lack of true passion that holds us back. Yes, I'm one of those lack luster individuals that just seems to be plugging along. Grasping enviously at the coat tails of those who've gone on to experience the adulation of the limelight.

As an adult, I've found that a good portion of my co-workers, classmates, and acquaintances have been satisfied to remain in their home towns, most likely at the same or similar jobs, throughout their entire adult life. In my case, 4 days after graduating high school, I was employed on an iron ore carrier and spent my first summer as an adult sailing the entire Great Lakes waterway.

Having had only one kid of any minority status in my class in school, I was now working with people from all over the world. This first time away from home expanded my horizons in many ways.

For a kid from the mid-west, I managed to travel to both the east and west coasts, and to live over seas for 18 months, all before my 21st birthday. My best friend back home, on the other hand, was lucky enough to draw a high number on the military draft lottery and got a job at the local creamery where his Dad worked.

I once worked with a gentleman that claimed he had never left his home state of Texas, and he was 35 years old. He continued to punch his time card, while I got bored after 6 months on the job and left to get into long haul trucking.

OK, so I've been there, and done that... so what has this got to do with passion? I've found that during periods that I'm not planning, preparing for, or living a new adventure, I can easily find myself suffering from depression.

Musicians, seeking to conquer a new genera of compositions, will just keep working at it sometimes to the point of blocking out most daily activities. The need to get it right can become over powering.

A successful writer working on the next best selling novel will stay at the keyboard almost around the clock to get the story line just right. The passion they have for this activity keeps them focused and pointed clearly in the right direction.

I've never been able to direct my passions toward an artistic or career escalating outlet. The best I can declare is a passion for change... Given the opportunity to uproot my life, head off into the unknown, and start all over from scratch, I come alive. Weird huh?

Whenever I find myself in a position where making a drastic change in my life is either impossible, or at least a rather stupid idea, I find myself lusting for those days of old.

I could more clearly declare my feelings for change a passion, if there was a clear direction or goal I was aiming for. But sadly it only amounts to a restlessness that I can't even properly explain.

The point of this is without passion, in my case the ability to create change, I often feel trapped. Aimlessly going through the motions of life, almost like one foot is remaining stationary while the other takes me in a tight circle. Going nowhere fast.

Sadness, even dread become part of my daily routine until that new "Tangent" creates an unexplored opportunity.

Wikipedia states the following as one of the meanings of the word Tangent:
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off on/ata tangent, digressing suddenly from one course of action or thought and turning to another: The speaker flew off on a tangent.
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My passion is changing directions, sometimes even in mid-stream, which definitely can make life interesting. Without limiting my passion to only one activity, avoiding the dreaded depression of aimlessness isn't too hard. I always seem to have a backlog of stupid directions to take my life.

What do you do to keep passion in your life?