How to Identify a Passive Aggressive Boss

Your passive aggressive boss is a disaster waiting to happen. Run away while you can. If it's the beginning of your professional relationship, you may still like and respect him. You may even think of him as your friend or mentor, until the day you realize he's the reason you're dazed, confused and wondering why your promising career is falling apart.

A MayoClinic.com article labeled the passive aggressive person as resentful, stubborn, inefficient and cynical. They may also be subject to memory lapses and may feel unappreciated. You wouldn't want to place your career in the hands of someone like that. It's important that that you be able to identify a passive aggressive boss when you see one. Here are 10 behaviors to look for and a few tips to help keep your boss from sabotaging your career.

1- Passive aggressive bosses trigger your sense of fight or flight.

Your boss, Roger, smiles a lot, but from the very first moment you met him, you felt a sense of wrong-ness. You couldn't put your finger on it, but your inner voice whispered "run."

Listen to your inner voice. If you can't run, at least watch your back.

2- Passive aggressive bosses never give you enough information to do your job.

Roger is supposed to train you for an hour each day. Instead he talks a lot about excellence (him) versus incompetence (everybody else.) He complains about missed promotions and having his old shoes resoled because he can't afford new ones. He drives a rusted-out Subaru while his boss drives that new Beamer he doesn't deserve. Roger explains his bitterness, but he's never explained your job. He never will.

You're on your own. Find the procedures manual. Make friends with someone who knows what to do and is willing to share.

3- They inspire hatred, distrust and anger.

All of your fellow employees have 'Roger' stories. Peter tried to throw him out of a 12^th story window. Mary dreams of running him down with a mail cart. Why does everyone hate your boss? He's done something mean to each and every one of them, and you may be next.

If that many people dream of your boss's demise, something is really wrong. Perhaps you should update your resume' and start looking.

4- Passive aggressive bosses add negative information to your personnel file, but you'll never know it.

Your boss criticizes everyone else, but not you. Things are going great, or are they? Well... no. You don't know about all those nasty little notes he's been sticking in your personnel folder.

Check your personnel records. Know what's there so you can defend yourself.

5- He assigns work while you're on vacation.

After a well deserved week on the beach you return tan and happy to find your desk buried in files. Roger assigned several new projects the day after you left on vacation. His note in the file says "Your report is overdue!" He says he forgot you were on vacation. Do you really believe that?

Have a fellow employee check your desk while you're gone so you'll know what to expect when you return.

6- He Steals Your Ideas. (He deserves them more than you do.)

Roger hated your big idea, so in the Big Idea meeting with the big corporate boss you have nothing to say. Your passive aggressive boss does. He opens his mouth and out comes your big idea. Your passive aggressive boss has claimed your best work as his own.

Put your ideas in an email or write them, then date them and sign them before you share them.

7- No matter how hard you work, he'll never deem you 'excellent' enough.

Your boss evaluated you as, "Overall, an adequate employee." Adequate? You work long hours. You work harder than he does. You know more than he does. You try to defend yourself; but that's when he shares all those nasty little notes he's been stuffing in your personnel file: "March 5 - 10 minutes late. May 3 - report errors. August 3 - failed to dot an 'i' and cross a 't.' Looks like there will be no raise for you this year.

Keep a written record of your excellence. Use it to defend against a negative evaluation.

8- Passive aggressive bosses praise, then attack.

Your passive aggressive boss is smiling again. He just told you what a great job you did, so you're smiling too. Is he finally noticing your accomplishments? No, he's throwing you off balance before the next attack.

Never let your guard down. Instead of smiling, run for cover.

9- Passive aggressive bosses rewrite the rules.

You worked hard to meet the goals your boss set for you. You followed his rules to the letter. You came in early and stayed late. You worked weekends. Just as your team finished weeks of hard work, your boss decided he wanted the project done a different way.

Get his directions in writing next time. If he won't write them down, carry a digital recorder in your pocket to document everything he says.

10- When a passive aggressive boss messes up, the blame falls on someone else.

Your boss didn't get the promotion he wanted. That's not surprising, he's not very good at what he does. He doesn't see it that way and someone has to pay. He has his eye on your best team member. "That Rex just isn't a team player," he tells you. "He's got a pretty wife and a big house. Too bad he won't have his job. Fire him!"

Defend your employees with the same vigor you use to defend yourself. It gets old. It will wear you down, but it's the right thing to do.

Source:

Personal experience with passive aggressive bosses

"What are the signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior?:"
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/passive-aggressive-behavior/AN01563

Book: "Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom" Scott Wexler, Phd