Pedophilia; The Hidden Illness
I Applaud the Man Who Openly Admits It!
I believe most people would use the words "That's sick", when speaking of a grown man that is sexually attracted to children. In fact, pedophilia is a disease. So, why then does it make any sense whatsoever to keep that disease a secret? It seems to me that if a person has a proclivity for doing something as completely harmful to society as having sexual relations with a child, that it would be better if we knew who to look out for, than if we don't. Almost every single pedophile that has ever been imprisoned for their actions has wished to be caught. They wanted to be stopped.
If our society was open to the fact that pedophiles exist, and that a sickness is something that must be treated, then it's possible we could save both children and those who perpetrate evil on those children. If the peer group surrounding a pedophile was aware of his proclivities, then it would be easier to hold the man accountable. We would not ask Uncle Jack to look after the kids while we run to the mall if we know in advance that uncle Jack dreams of doing the horizontal mambo with little Sarah.
Nothing can be done to curb sexual attraction. As I have said a number of times, in a less edited manner, "groin twitch is groin twitch". What we do about that twitch though is what ultimately makes the difference between harm and no harm. We as a society owe it to those in society to do no harm. Part of that is fostering an atmosphere of openness and honesty wherein sick people can say they are sick so that they can be treated, and so that they are not asked to perform tasks of the able bodied. It's kin to the idea that an alcoholic shouldn't be a bartender.
Now and again, when meeting a new couple I will remark to my wife that I am sexually attracted to the wife in the couple we just met. Some would never dream of telling their spouse such a thing, and in fact there are women who would have a conniption if they knew their spouse was sexually attracted to another woman. In my case though, it creates a built in accountability system to be honest. I know that my wife is not going to put me in a situation where I am alone with the object of my attraction for any length of time. It helps me to be faithful to her because I am honest with her. I believe the same would be true in a society where would-be pedophile could openly discuss their attraction .
Sexuality is what it is, and it is not likely to change. The question we as a society must answer is the question on what we should do about that sexuality. It is not a crime to be sexually attracted to little girls. It is a crime, and should be, to act on that attraction. If you know of a better way to protect our children than to allow those who want to harm them the freedom to speak their temptations, then I'd like to hear it. Until then, I believe that our society should take a non-judgmental, Do ask and Do tell approach to pedophiles and would be pedophiles. I say Non-judgmental because proclivities cannot be helped. They are what they are. Our job is to prevent the action by being aware of the temptations.
There exists a dichotomy between what we wish to believe as individuals and a society and what we actually do believe. Who we truly are as a people and as individuals is found in the secret places, not in our public personas. I believe that is harmful. I believe that the more we are publicly, the same people we are privately, the more likely we are to close the chasm between what we believe and what we wish to believe. I submit that we always act as we truly believe and that guilt comes from not believing and therefore not acting on what we think we should believe. 99% of people will tell you that the sex industry is morally reprehensible, and yet it's one of the largest industries on earth. It is my contention that the first step of solving a problem is admitting that we have one.
A man in California has admitted to wishing to have sex with little girls. We know who he is. We know what his proclivities are, and we can watch him. The likelihood that he will offend so long as he is watched is nil to none. His openness is good for him, it's good for the little girls he wishes to harm and it's good for society. I applaud him for being open and admitting his sickness. After reading this article, do you?
Published by Bob Bartelby
Bob Bartelby is a 40 year old liberal gutocrat who doesn't shy away from telling it as he sees it. He lives with his wife and family of two children, 3 dogs, and 8 cats. He's currently in the throes of writi... View profile
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12 Comments
Post a Commentuh.... dude... that's harming them!
i kinda agree, but a pedophile does not want to harm children. There is a difference between sexual attraction and wanting to hurt people. Just because someone is sexually attracted to children doesnt mean they want to hurt them. Any sane person would like to have a consensual relationship enjoyed by both persons with the partner that attracts him/her. Most pedophiles are no different. Pedophilia is indeed a sexual orientation: attraction towards children (which is illegal). A pedophile might want to make love and make his/her partner the greatest orgasm of his/her life, or might want to rape and hurt the child; just like heterosexuals.
i admit that it is beneficial for pedophiles to be known. it is rare for one to actually come forward and seek change. i just think you have painted an unrealistic picture with the assumptions you take here, and fail to realize that most pedophiles are dangerous not because they are sick with a lack of inhibition with their desires, but because they are seeking to inflict harm to harness their own sense of power.
Funny how many people here would rather the man deal with his demons in silence,never apprising anyone of the danger he poses. You can't prosecute desire...only action. Coming out with his desires insures that no one will try to leave children with him at weak moment. I find it interesting that nearly every dissenting opinion here posted anonymously.
i stopped reading your article before i finished the third paragraph. there are some serious flaws in your logic.
'Almost every single pedophile that has ever been imprisoned for their actions has wished to be caught. They wanted to be stopped.'
really? i'd like you to substantiate this claim. almost every account i've read, heard of and experienced was a result of the victimized child speaking up against the perpetrator. they DON'T want to be caught. they know what they are doing, they know they are harming other people, and they do it anyways. it's about power and control. they do untold damages with their manipulations and power abuses. it's very dangerous to generalize a supposed innocent man's account to a general population of predators.
genetic tuning of our sexual desires also has other undesirable effect ( though not as taboo as paedophilia) ie beastiality. breeding with unrelated partners is generally more benificial than incest, mendlesons laws demonstrate how this works ( think inbreeding and genetic disease) so exotic, foriegn, different partners may be desired. again this may swing too far in the wrong direction. what partner can be more different than one not of your own species.
it is true that there is a difference between the personae we publically display and our secret one. you may not admit it but the majority of men would be turned on by legally underage girls, evolution has programmed us to seek nubility to maximise our breeding chances (monopolise breeding rights to a female from onset of puberty and you increase your chances of having offspring before the female is too old, in primative times this may have only been a few years.) we also desire displays of fecundity, proof of child bearing ability, ie preggo porn. our genes set our desires but in attempting to get the balance right between nubility and fecundity sometimes results in males desiring pre pubesant children. peodophilia.
Great article Harry! You are absolutely correct in applauding this guy for bringing out the truth. The truth always prevails, but actions do not. If one has a disease, a flaw, a problem and admits it - they are indeed asking for help. It takes a lot of courage and should demand respect and love.
The first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem. I would think so many pedophiles do NOT think it is a problem. I don't know anything about this particular guy - if he, like other commenters say, still indulges or encourages acting on his sickness - but I agree that admitting it is a great way to be kept in check by society. And to get help.
I don't know about Don Lee, but, proudly announcing that you have a "problem" while continuing to endulge in it and telling others how to enjoy it as well when you know that it is sick, smacks of insanity. This should not be applauded but rather condemned and forceably dealt with via law enforcement intervention. I thought the article reeked of political correctness and pandering to the lowest of the low, child molesters. I for one, would be ashamed if I wrote this piece.