Peeping Tom's on Computers and Cyber Safety

Otherwise known as electronic voyeurism, the computer has taken away old-fashioned personal interaction. You know, as a writer of erotic fiction, I actually wrote a naughty tale by the same title (Electronic Voyeurism on oystersandchocolate.com). Sex without penetration isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does show the world has come a long way since the days of peeping Tom's, and copping a feel in the backseat of Johnny's Chevy. (Photo courtesy of Adam & Eve online)

Computers have become the medium by which people first meet. It used to be bars and dance clubs, or even Sonic Drive-in. Now it's match.com, E-Harmony, and a host of other social networks that provide the platform for singles, and swingers alike to meet and evaluate each other from a safe distance. This "through the looking glass" sense of security often leads some people to venture down the garden path, so to speak, with far more boldness than they generally would in a public, physically interactive setting.

With the use of webcams (with audio), and even instant chat, old-school phone sex gets an upgrade. Who knew that those cartoons we watched as kids would come true by the time we grew up? Remember the TV phones on the Jetson's? A person doesn't have to leave the comfort of their home to peep into someone else's bedroom or have a steamy, sexual encounter with multiple chat partners. This is the age that has given rise to a new moniker: the cyber-slut.

The cyber-slut can click his/her mouse, and pull up naughty snapshots which can be instantly transported to a monitor on the other side of the world. And without having to face the music in person, sharing one's "goodies" with a perfect stranger becomes all too easy. Masturbation goes from a solo activity to a shared, and all too often recorded experience. It's like watching your own, private and personal porno live. The problem with this is that once you send out pictures or video, that file can be copied and/or forwarded on to others with ease. It can also be traced back to your IP address or cell phone number depending on where you sent it from. You have just opened yourself up for identity theft, and made it easy for a cyber-stalker to locate you. In addition, your image, naked and completely exposed, is now "out there" for all the world to see. You never know where that image or video will turn up; like on your bosses computer! Yes, even your supervisor and co-workers can be closet electronic voyeurs. In the old days, you had to go to a seedy part of town to sit in some sticky booth set in the back of a darkened bookstore, and drop some change into a box to watch some naked woman dance around for five minutes. Now, the show has unlimited time, and is free. Can't vouch for the cleanliness of the chair you choose to sit on, though. (Dangers of file sharing/transport)

The thing is, most people don't realize how easily these live images, and shared files can be lifted by hackers, and put out internet-wide for all the world to see. It's something to think about when next you find yourself standing on your bed, doing a nasty little striptease for that cute guy you met on myspace.

I remember the first time I became acquainted with webcam chat on Yahoo. I didn't have a camera of my own (still don't to this day, on principle), but the cute guy I had been chatting up did have one. He suggested we leave myspace for Yahoo instant messenger. At first it was innocent. I thought "How cool! I can see him live and in person." He very quickly steered the conversation into choppy waters. The next thing I knew, his pants were down! I thought "Oh my God! He's taken it out!" I had a "deer in headlights" moment. I'm afraid I hesitated long enough to rubberneck the screen. Then I felt heat rush into my face, realized I was so embarrassed (although he couldn't see me), and I cut off the connection. I looked at my cat, who was looking at me with "that look"! It was an accusing look, I tell you; one that said "For shame, mother! How could you stare at that?" I can't believe my cat judged me!

I do have to give props where props are due. He did have quite a magnificent member. Still, for me it wasn't the way I would have wished to be introduced. We hadn't even been out to dinner! Instead of a polite "Michele, meet my penis. Penis, this is Michele. Say hello to the nice lady", I got "Bam!" Right in my eye! And we know how I feel about getting one in the eye from earlier posts.

Needless to say, it wasn't for me. But it may be just the ticket for others. So while it works for some, it isn't for everyone. Common courtesies should be observed before dropping trow on camera. Honestly, there should be a code of conduct. The same way you'd ask a person "do you mind if I smoke" before lighting up, you should definitely ask first, "Say, do you mind if I air my wiener for a bit?" and then later, before you take your recalcitrant boner in hand, "Sorry, okay with you if I take care of this?" You might even show real, southern manners by offering some to your host. After all, you wouldn't find yourself behaving this way while sipping tea in someone's living room for the first time. You're not Bill Clinton, buddy!

So, ladies and gentlemen, before boldly exposing yourself to the unblinking eye of the camera while Skyping or posing pretty for webcam chat, remember there is a real person on the other side of that screen (and it's not the Wizard of Oz). Show a degree of decorum and beg permission first. I'd say it's fair to assume that if permission is granted to "come aboard" you can proceed to play a rousing game of naked cyber-battleship!

http://www.o2.com/media_files/using_camera_phones_safely.pdf