Peer Pressure: Not Just for Teenagers

Contrary to popular belief, peer pressure does not end once you are no longer a teenager. Although the term "peer pressure" is often associated most closely with teens, it plays a significant role in our lives far beyond our teenage years. The term 'peer' is misused if it is only associated with teenage peer pressure. According to Dictionary.com, the definition of 'peer' is "a person who is equal to another in abilities, qualifications, age, background and social status."

In addition to associating peer pressure only when speaking about teenagers, this term also holds a negative connotation. "Peer pressure" often conjures up thoughts of teenagers indulging in illicit activities, such as underage sex, drinking and drug use in an attempt to be accepted by others. However, not all peer pressure is bad. This article will explore how peer pressure affects our lives in both negative and positive ways.

Throughout childhood, most of us had it drilled into our heads that the best way to achieve the American Dream is to get good grades and go to college in order to get a good job. There is tremendous pressure on kids these days that enforces this idea. It is not uncommon for high school students to take practice SATs in order to achieve the best possible grade. It is almost unheard of for a teenager to not take the SAT exam, and teachers spend much time during the varsity years prepping teens for college entrance exams and essays. There is an unspoken assumption that the goal of all high school students is to not just go to college, but to be accepted into the school of their choice.

This is a situation where peer pressure is a double-edged sword. Getting good grades, studying for the SAT and working towards getting into a choice college are all worthy goals. Forming study groups and other social activities that encourage hard work towards these goals can help guide students and gently pressure them to continue towards their goals even when they don't feel like it. On the other hand, for the student who knows that she/he is not college material and wishes to make other plans for life after high school, they are left with few options. In fact, options besides college often are not even discussed by teachers or guidance counselors. This child is likely to feel a sense of abandonment as classes continue to focus on preparing for college. Some teachers even go so far as to stop paying attention to this student once his/her desires are made known. Unless someone intervenes and discusses the abundance of alternatives to college, the chances of success as an adult diminish for this child since the message received is one of "go to college or become a loser."

In the adult arena, peer pressure takes on a more subtle form and is seldom talked about. Meanwhile, many adults unknowingly make decisions based on peer pressure. Life-altering decisions are made as to who to marry and when, where to live, where to work, when to have children, what to do for a living, how to invest, and what set of morals to adopt as their own. If one chooses an alternative lifestyle, decides not to marry or have children, does not live in the "right" part of town, and makes their own rules for life, their choices are often met with resistance and frowns of disapproval. As a species that depends on socialization to survive, the fear of being rejected by others can be powerful enough for people to succumb to peer pressure in order to be accepted, often times with devastating results.

Some of those devastating results are seen on television talk shows when a person, married for twenty years with three grown children, admits that he is gay. Another person might marry someone she knows in her heart is not the right person for her, because she has just witnessed all of her friends getting married and feels she should be settling down, too. Some people have children and never even think that they had a choice about whether to have them or not. It is simply what one does, even though not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Many people financially ruin themselves trying to keep up with the Joneses, not even realizing that the Joneses are financially destitute because they are busy keeping up with the Millers. Some people will not even shop at Wal-mart or Target, for fear of being seen in a "low-class" store. Others go into professions that provide a high income so they can maintain a certain social standing, even if their calling for life lies in a completely different, yet lower-paying field.

Peer pressure is everywhere. It is not just limited to television commercials anymore. Lifestyles of the extravagantly wealthy are featured in television shows such as "My Super-Sweet Sixteen" and "MTV Cribs," leading many teenagers and adults alike to feel as though they do not measure up. When you're a kid, it's uncool to not wear certain name-brand clothes. When you're an adult, that sense of uncoolness doesn't disappear. The only thing that changes is that the "cool" brands are extraordinarily more expensive: Gucci, BMW and Rolex, to name a few. Not to say that any of these brands are not worth their price, but if it must be financed, it is probably too expensive.

Despite the many negatives of peer pressure, it also has many positive affects that should not be ignored. For example, it is no longer taboo to seek counseling for one's problems in life. Many corporations even offer free counseling to their employees and this helps reinforce the idea that asking for help is a positive thing. Retirement funds such as the 401(k) are gaining in popularity. Anything that reminds us to save for retirement is a good thing, too. It is also more "cool" to be open about one's sexuality, and openness breeds understanding and tolerance. Understanding and tolerance breeds a more peaceful society.

Whether you are a teenager or an adult, it is imperative to consider the options when faced with decisions that seem like "no-brainers." When determining whether you are going along with peer pressure, try to ask yourself some key questions to get to the truth that lies within yourself. How will this decision affect you over the long haul? What are your options if you decide not to do something that most people consider the "norm"? Would you make this same choice if you were by yourself and not out with your friends? These questions will help you navigate the murky waters of peer pressure, starting as a teenager and all through your adult life.