Penny and the Monkey Bars

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."- Author unknown

I was going to write about my favorites quotes about letting go past mistakes or feelings we may have about someone and moving on. However I did not get any further than the first quote and it brought back memories of when I was in the fourth grade and wanted so badly to cross the monkey bars.

Back when I was in the fourth grade, the monkey bars was sort of a boys club thing to do and only girls with the Yiddish term of chutzpah would even dare and succeed in crossing the monkey bars. So there I would go through my daily ritual during recess, go up and down on the see -saw watching the boys climb and then cross the monkey bars.

I admired them so much as they would go swinging with rhythm and strength. And some of the girls who could do it too....Wow!

Then one day a couple of girls who regularly met on the see-saw with me decided that this was the day they were going to cross the monkey bars. Me I wasn't volunteering do anything, I'm not crazy. However, I did decide to change my ritual and walk with the girls to the monkey bars. Nothing more.

First Linda Dennis climbed up to the top. Once she was up there she looked down at us. To me being this tiny little kid, and when I glanced up at her and her down at me, she looked as if she was on a mountain. I could never do that I thought. She first put her right hand out on the first bar, and her second hand on the second bar. Her body began to swing. She reached for the third and then she looked down and she fell. A sigh went within the crowd.

Next up was Gwen Davis and before she began to climb she looked at the monkey bars as if studying them. Next she bent down and picked up some sand and dusted her hands with it. "Wow, she's a pro," I say to myself. Next she climbed that monkey bar with such confidence. When she reached the top she did not look back nor did she look down. She looked straight ahead as if concentrating. Gwen then held out left hand and grabbed the first monkey bar; she then took her right hand and grabbed the second bar. She was swinging and she was off. Then came the left arm and the right, with each swing I was holding my breath. The next thing I know Gwen was standing on the other side of the monkey bars, looking across at us. She had succeeded! She made it, she did! I was so excited, I thought "I'm next; I'm going to do it."

Before I even really thought about it I was at the top of the monkey bars and before I knew it, I was looking back at the girls from the top of this thing. I then looked down at the ground; it was a long ways down from where I was standing. I once again glanced back at the girls who all seemed surprise.

"You can't do it." I couldn't go back I had to at least try. I reached up and touched the first bar with my right hand shaking and then I reached up with my left hand and also touched the first bar. I let my legs began to swing. I couldn't move! My arms were getting tired. The bars were beginning to burn my hands and I released them and I fell. All the girls began to laugh. "I knew you couldn't do it either," Linda replied.

Funny thing is I felt like she did and I did not believe I could do it also. So I had defeated myself before I began.

Gwen became so masterful at the monkey bars. It was like watching a gymnast when she would hang from the top bars upside down. She would sit at the very top as if a Queen who is looking down upon her subjects.

As for me well I retreated once again to my little safe haven of the see-saw. How tired I was of just going up and then down. Not to mention sometimes thudding to the ground when my co- pilot decided she no longer wanted to see-saw anymore.

Then the day came when swinging from bar to bar became boring to Gwen and she wanted to be more daring and instead of swinging from bar to bar she wanted to swing from bar to every other bar. As she reached for the bar with her left hand, her hand slipped and she fell directly and completely on her left arm. I had never seen someone cry and in so much and be in so much pain as Gwen was that day. After that I saw the monkey bars as an enemy that I did not want to cross, so to speak.

The next day of school, Gwen came with a cast on her arm. She had broken it. But today she did not seem to mind walking around with a cast on as a matter of fact she loved the attention the teachers were given her, not to mention getting her cast signed by all the kids.

The strangest thing happened though instead of the girls avoiding that death trap of the monkey bars more girls were willing to take a chance and they were succeeding in crossing the bars all the way across. I however continued to sit on the see-saw sometimes all alone. I would study the form of every girl that would cross the monkey bars. They always dusted their hands with sand and once they climbed the monkey bar they would never look back or down but always ahead.

Then one day I said to myself, "I am going to do this." I walked over to the monkey bars and looked up at it. The sun was high and shining and the bars glare sort of blinded me. I bent down and picked up some sand, letting it cascade through my fingertips. I slowly climbed the rungs of the monkey bars and then I was there at the top. I looked across to the other side and it was just like looking through a long tunnel.

I reached for the top of the first bar with my right hand and grabbled on tight. I swung my body so that the left hand could touch the next bar. Got it!

I kept reminding myself that I could do this. I let my legs dangle and concentrated on my right hand getting to the next bar...got it! I just kept looking forward allowing my arms and legs swing from side to side to side and bar to bar.

The next thing I knew I was on the other side of the monkey bars. "I did it! I did it!" I began to yell. When I looked around for the girls to share in my joy, no one was paying attention. They were in a huddle talking about something or someone, maybe even me.

It's funny how that memory came to me and as a child even though it took some time I finally faced up to my fears and crossed the monkey bars. And even though no one was there to share in my happiness at least I knew I had done it.

The lesson I learned is not to allow the fear of failing paralyze me from achieving goals that I want to attain. Always know exactly what it takes to achieve my goals and try to be well equipped. I am not suggesting following the crowd, but face your fears. Never allow falling down prevent you getting back up, dusting yourself off and trying again.