People Who Chew with Their Mouth Open: I Hate the Sound of Gum Chewing

There is this phenomenon with some people: they eat with their mouth open, chewing, and chewing, and chewing until you want to scream and maybe hit them with a fork. Why do some people chew with their mouth open, and why do I hate it so much?

I don't know. On both accounts, that is. I just hate it. It is rude. It is annoying. I don't want to see the food being chopped up in there, and I certainly don't want to hear it being masticated.

Funny thing is, I'm getting enraged just thinking out it while writing this article. I thought I was alone for awhile, but Google showed me otherwise. See, I don't just get irritated when someone chews with their mouth open-I become furious. Anger boils up in me like an unstoppable volcano about to blow and it takes every ounce of willpower that I have to scream, to snap their jaw off their face, to dig up their long-deceased parents and demand an answer to why they could not teach their children proper manners.

Sound harsh? Then chew with your mouth shut.

If you think that chewing with your mouth open isn't that big of a deal, do a quick Google search and find out how many other human beings there are out there that experience the same irrational rage at the sound of chewing, especially people who chew with their mouth open.

Your eyes should be wide by now-if they aren't, then you're not very bright. See, every time you chew with your mouth open, someone, somewhere, is experiencing the rage of fifteen angered elephants, and the fear of jail time is the only thing keep them from permanently ending your mouth-open gum chewing fetish.

Not only that, but people will view you as subhuman. That's right-chew with your mouth open, and you just look like a big dumb ape to everybody around you. You're a cow mindlessly chewing on grass. On you're a baby, burping up pudding. You're a lazy person, incapable of shutting your jaw?

Is this how you want people to view you? Chew with your mouth shut. The entire world won't thank you, but you'll increase your chance of survival out there.