Personal Ad Stress Relief

Loved walks on Venice Beach
Enjoyed a good bottle of Merlot
Or a nice dry Blue Hawaiian Martini
A little bit of a klutz and two swollen left feet
Don't expect a Dancing With the Stars champion
Not as tall or ready for Victoria's Secret like Giselle
Only the makings of a dreadful E Harmony profile
A Jersey Shore situation grenade waiting to happen
Neurotic about how much Consort hair spray is on
Not a hair able to move from wind or have a personality
Always afraid of tripping in front of a George Clooney look alike
Risked destroying chances of a second date through clumsiness
Talked too much about my cat Fluffy and my white picket fence desire
Scared of being a spinster with more kittens than friends
Anxiety filled dreams of hair falling out in clumps
And meeting Mr. Right in the form of Colin Firth
Not knowing what to do with him from the first date to the wedding
Determined to find romance the old fashioned way in a Starbucks or Costco
Deleted the nightmarish dating profile likely to be revived in a few months
With different information and results.