Personal Hockey Trainer for 3 Year Old?

My son attends the premiere preschool in our New England town. My daughter was 16^th on the waiting list and never did get in. My son, somehow, won the lottery and gained admittance. At this school, the Talbot's clad mothers all gather outside and chat while we wait for our children to be dismissed. These women are beautiful, put together and all well connected. I feel I'm the token real mom amongst this sea of "Stepford." Honestly, they are nice and caring women. I'm probably just a bit envious. Recently, I heard an interesting conversation during pick up.

"Is your son signing up for hockey this season?" Taylor* asked another mother. Taylor is the leader of the bunch. She leads the Junior Women's Club, school PTO and church group. What Taylor does, everyone does.

"Of course, we've already sent in the paperwork and arranged for an extra hockey trainer." Sissy replied. The mothers all unanimously voice their approval. I think some of them look a little jealous and wish they had thought of the trainer thing first.

Hockey is a tough and expensive sport. The students' older siblings must be doing it. I'd love to take my kids ice skating so I ask what skating rink they're going to. Big mistake, I should have laid low.

"Haven't you signed Sawyer up for hockey yet? He's rather stocky. He'd be an asset to the team." Buffy replies. I think she's shocked but it's hard to tell with her. Botox doesn't allow for visible emotions. Funny, I had never thought of my son as a "stocky asset."

"He's only three years old!" I practically shout.

All the mothers shake their heads disapprovingly at each other and groan. I'm quickly informed that if you don't start your son at three, he may not make the team next year. Personally, I think four is too young as well.

One mother stated her five year old had to try out and he was traumatized by the experience. Her younger son is the one who has a hockey trainer on retainer already. They also advise me, if my son plans on having a future in sports, I'd better sign him up for everything now.

Did I mention he was only three years old? I feel like George Costanza, from Seinfeld, living in a "Bizzaro" world. Everything is backwards. I thank the ladies for their advice and tell them I'll get right on it. I think I'll take my son ice skating on the local pond. It's where my parents taught me and I can still do a mean double lutz. Or did they say I was a klutz? Bizzaro...

*The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!