Personal Relationships and the Africans

There is evidence that Africans in ancient times were responsible for many outstanding technical feats. However, the real achievement of African culture was in another area.

Basil Davidson in the book African Kingdoms relates: "In the shadow of their pomp and glory rests the modest but impressive achievement of village-level Africa. In community attitudes that joined man to man in a brotherhood of equals, in moral rules that guided social behavior, in beliefs that exalted the spiritual aspects of life above the material, the African village achieved a kind of social harmony that often functioned without any need of centralized authority. This, in fact, was where Africa best displayed its real genius-in its capacity for social organization. . . . more concerned with the amenities of personal relationships than with material progress."

FAMILY LIFE: An international press release noted regarding traditional African societies: "The young, the old, the infirm are never without care, food or shelter as long as there is a relative or tribal brother with anything at all to share." The family worked together and, basically, the villages were, and many still are, close-knit groups of several "extended" families. Children were reared in an atmosphere of family interest.

HOSPITALITY: It was the general practice in ancient Africa. Strangers were welcome without reservation. Two white American writers lived for a time with some of the most primitive tribes in Africa. One wrote: "The hospitality of the Nuba is wonderful to experience." The other reported: 'The Masai have a development of spirit, of human dignity, warmth and humor, a love of family and friends. I thought that the Masai had developed something very special.'

RULE OF LAW: The villages all had chiefs, village elders and a judicial system. Crimes were punished and criminals were ostracized from the community. There was security, and village life as a whole was relaxed and warm.

Yes, love for family, hospitality, rule of law-are not these all valuable qualities, especially in a cold world where a close family and friends are becoming a rarity and lawlessness is increasing? Traditional African life considered these things precious. But what is happening to such values?

What Is Changing?

FAMILY LIFE: "Already the problems of affluent society are knocking hard on our doorsteps. Drug addiction, problems of adolescence."

Source: The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman