Personality Search

I have been thinking about me, who I REALLY am, when DID I grow up? This is the first time I've felt like all the tests and experiences of my life are all coming together. I read all of those pretty little phrases that insure and assure me that "it all happens for a reason" and "it will be worth the wait", but I've never felt like my path is leading somewhere, anywhere. I've wondered why I am me, how many personalities will I go through to find ME?

I took a deep breath this evening and when I relaxed I realized that I will be Rachel from now on. Today's the day! I have completed a journey in my own individuality. In this "personality search" I have been a daughter, a mother, a wife, a girlfriend. I have given and been selfish. I've had new experiences and went through "phases", all lessons learned.

Yesterday I was sad, thinking about all of my tears, my complaining, my insecurities and my personal faults. I grieved the hardships my loved ones and friends have suffered for my shortcomings. I even felt a very personal embarrassment for some of the "situations" I've involved myself in. I know that I have been going through a cleansing process for quite some time.
Now, I feel strong, independent, motivated, and most of all self-confident. I am so happy to be exactly where I am. The same loved ones and friends who held my hand, have lead me here. What a precious gift. I really mean it this time....I am beautiful today.