PERSPECTIVES of a NICE OLD MAN: How I Am Defeating Alcoholism [part 7]

PERSPECTIVES of a NICE OLD MAN: How I Am Defeating Alcoholism [Part 7]

Ignorance is a terrible thing and knowledge is power. My intent is this segment is to share some of the signs that point to the development of an alcoholism based lifestyle. This is not to say that knowing the signs would have made a difference because denial is very often a hugely powerful part of alcoholism. My total recall consists of just two "signs" The first one was from a high school classmate's remark written in my yearbook. The second was from a young medical doctor who told me in 1960 to switch from gin to light scotch because he could see that suggesting abstinence for me would be a waste of words.

No two individuals will recognize the same signs or react to them in the same way. Some folks will not experience any sign or reaction. My hope is that sharing my signs may help someone avoid the travail associated with alcoholic drinking.

Most anybody knows about luxuries. Examples are luxury homes, cars, jewelry, clothing, etc. My most practical definition of luxuries is simply anything the great majority of people cannot afford to buy. There is a special type of "luxury" that can be harmful to non-alcoholics but fatal for alcoholics. They are unaffordable habits and emotions.

My primary luxury was "THE BUZZ SAW" - a pathological inner force that normal people may call hyperactivity that was present in every segment of my life. Much of the effect was admired because a highly focused, committed force produced recognizable achievement at the same time it was also producing the unrecognizable elements of suicide. Yes, suicidal thoughts are frequent guests in the alcoholic brain.

Here are some of the other luxuries that merit the recognition and analysis described in Alcoholics Anonymous as taking personal inventory. Other, potentially fatal luxuries are:
Criticism - of everything including self. An all knowing subconscious is very busy here.
Anger - blow ups and grudges over little things because we are perfect.
Lying - to hide the truth and stress from trying to remember all the lies.
Rationalization - ability to dream up a "reason" for things gone wrong.
Denial - we are employed, achieving tax payers and providing well for our families
Fear - that our disease may be discovered and potential cost of discovery.
Black Outs - wondering what has happened in past minutes, hours, days.

Advanced Intelligence is special and deserves special mention because people with this wonderful blessing trust and rely on it to the extent that makes it extra difficult for them to acknowledge any sort of weakness. For me, here is a case of it doesn't take one to know one.

WARNING! Do not consider for an instant that there is anything easy or simple about the discovery of and recovery from alcoholism. Large numbers of us required some serious event[s] to get our attention, and attention often failed to make a permanent difference. Others made it through attention getting and some recovery only to "go back out there" and drink. I hope that you or someone you care about will seek and find recovery road.
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