Persuading Children in Tidying Up Their Rooms

Your child still refuses, at one time or another, to clean and tidy his room up. This opposition inevitably punctuates the major stages of development of your child and cannot be avoided. His first event takes place at the age of two when he begins to master the language by using mostly the word "no". The "yes" comes much later ... These refusals remarks, from childhood to adolescence, is a gradual acquisition of autonomy and independence but the child will still need your support and presence. The no-yes attitude reflects his desire to choose and be recognized as an individual. It also tests your leadership and your limits resulting in confrontations often difficult to cope with but which are essential for his proper development. It measures the consequences of his opposition: reuses the most positive and abandoning the others.

Impose or persuade?

It is normal to ask or want a child or adolescent to tidy up his room but you have to adapt your application according to his age.

Between three and five years, the child learns by imitating. Introduce him to a store game and accompany him in this task. He needs to know where to begin, and to store different objects.
Between six and eleven years, the child tends to be more autonomous, so he prefers to put things in place by himself. This does not mean that he already knows how to do it but he agrees to do so systematically. Offer him a progressive empowerment by exposing him to your reasons and by not imposing him to tidy up his room.

When the adolescence defines his territory

The teenager, between twelve and eighteen years of age, has the tendency to question family rules and the organization. His room reflects what his thoughts in his head (affective disorder, sexual, love). It does not mean that if he tidies his room once he will be doing it every week but on the contrary he will tend to refuse in doing it. Remember that your teen will oppose to educational issues or rules that you regard as being important.

Your teen is seeking to find moments of solitude in his universe. Do not tidy up his room for him a way to delimit his territory. A little disorder is therefore normal and do not impose too much order, especially in a radical and uncompromising. Do not enter his room to clean up in his absence and when being in his room, knock and wait before entering. These behaviours show your respect for their privacy and your attention to his current preoccupations.

Do not get angry!

If the rules clear and consistent the child or adolescent will be able to understand and therefore be respected. Avoid approving what the other parent forbids and avoid giving punishments that disrespect the following day. Inconsistency leads to confusion among children and increases their opposed attitudes.

Being stressed or too angry in order to be obeyed undermines your authority. Such attitudes also reveal more lack of authority and therefore it is essential to dispose of what is not important and negotiate around what is temporarily. You should think about changing the rules while remaining firm on what cannot be questioned.

If you insist that your child cleans up his room make sure your child understands the meaning and objective of your request. If he feels that you are being intrusive he will surely disobey.

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