Pet Loss: How I Dealt with It

For years I dreaded the day that I would have to say goodbye to my sweet cat, Kirby. Sadly, that day came too soon for me. On February 10, 2008, after a short bout with cancer, my little guy crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge. He was 14 1/2 years old.

Shortly after Kirby became sick, it was apparent that he was probably not going to make it. I knew I would have a difficult time with the loss, so I started preparing in advance. Over the years, I've found a lot of benefits by visiting and participating in various online forums so I started my search for a forum related to pet loss. A few days before he passed away, I found a wonderful forum at Rainbowsbridge.com and started participating immediately.

I found that writing words of comfort to others who had suffered through losing their pets provided me with a bit of comfort. I also shared my fears about my upcoming loss. The people there really seemed to care about Kirby and I. I started to feel a connection to those who were going through a similar loss. When Kirby passed away, I received many words of comfort. I was struck by how caring and compassionate others were. I found it comforting to share my memories of Kirby. I posted pictures of him so my new "friends" could see how beautiful he was and I shared aspects of his personality so others could get to know him a bit through me.

I ordered a book on pet loss. At first I didn't think a book could help. I figured it wouldn't bring Kirby back, so why should I bother reading it? But strangely enough, reading it did provide some comfort. It helped me to not feel alone. It described what I was going through so I understood it better. It gave me information on how to best deal with my grief to work through it and eventually heal.

I found a local pet loss support group. This was something that I also found before Kirby died. The leader of the group was very caring. She called to check on Kirby before he passed away and to check on me afterward. She sent me a sympathy card and was very available for me to speak with her. I attended some of the support group meetings. I found it helpful to meet others who were going through a similar loss and suffering to the extent that I was. I became involved with helping to promote the group.

I leaned on my fiance a lot during the difficult time after Kirby died. He was a great source of support. He also shared some of my grief because he had grown to love Kirby too. We held a "service" for Kirby on the day he died. We each wrote him a letter filled with our thoughts and memories of him. We then read our letters out loud with a special song playing in the background. We shed a lot of tears, but it was a wonderful tribute to our beloved furry boy. It was also a good way to start our healing process.

I will miss my sweet Kirby boy forever, but I have come a long way on my journey after having to say goodbye to him. The pain of losing him is starting to fade. I am now able to embrace my joyful memories of him. I still have times where my grief comes back and I cry, but those times are becoming fewer and father in between. I try to make him a part of every day by either thinking of him, writing about him or reaching out to others suffering a similar loss.