Pet Peeves of a Frequent Traveler

I travel for the company on a fairly regular basis, and have learned over the years that there are tricks to making the trip easier and more efficient. Things like stowing your loose change in your luggage before you get to the security area can help to speed up the check-in process, since you will have less to remove from your pockets as you go through the metal detector. And while I try to employ several little tricks like this one to help out the cause, there are a lot of travelers who seem to have a real knack for aggravating the dickens out of everyone else in the terminal or on the plane. Follow me through the process here, and see if you haven't also been a victim of the obnoxious traveler.

a) The obnoxious traveler at the ticket counter. If I am in a hurry, it seems like the guy in front of me is always at his slowest. He doesn't have his photo ID ready to show the ticket agent. He whines about not getting an aisle seat, even though he didn't reserve a ticket until the day before the flight. He can't decide whether to check both of his bags or just one. The bag he does check is 8 pounds overweight, and he has to re-adjust the contents to keep from paying the surcharge. He decides at the very last second that there is a magazine that needs to be retrieved from a checked bag. His checked bags don't have any personal ID on them, and the agent has to put on one of those paper ID tags that the airline offers. All of these things take up precious time that can cause the line to creep along at a snail's pace.

b) The obnoxious traveler at the security check-in. I'm probably still behind the same character, and his lack of preparation continues to cause problems for the rest of us. He doesn't read all of the instructions about what can be carried on the plane, and what cannot. He leaves metallic articles in his pockets, and has to walk through the metal detector three times before remembering that there is a spare house key in his billfold, setting off the alarm each time. He has to be told that his laptop computer has to be out of its carrying case, and in a tray by itself before it can go through the x-ray. He doesn't start unlacing his shoes until being reminded by the security officers that he can't wear them in the metal detector. After proceeding through the metal detector, he takes the time to re-stow his computer and put on his shoes while still standing in front of the x-ray conveyor belt, holding up everyone else that would like to move on through.

c) The obnoxious traveler at the gate area. I still haven't managed to escape Mr. Obnoxious. Now, at the gate area, he has occupied one seat himself, placed his carry-on luggage in the two seats on either side, and has stretched his legs out in the aisle so that no one can get past without hopping over or sliding by sideways. He is passing the time by drinking a giant-sized soft drink (which you know is going to be a restroom visit by the time you get halfway through the flight), and talking loudly on his cellular phone without any consideration for the fact that none of us around him are interested in hearing it. (I'm not through complaining about cell phones, as you will see in the following paragraphs.)

d) The obnoxious traveler boards the plane. Our plane is now ready to board, and he pays no attention to the instructions. Many airlines board the plane by group numbers, plainly printed on your boarding pass. Mr. Obnoxious, still talking on the phone, only hears the fact that the plane is now boarding, and tries to get on with Group 2 when his ticket clearly states that he is part of Group 4. He sits on the plane, in the right row, but goes ahead and takes the aisle seat, instead of his assigned middle seat, making the legitimate aisle passenger run him out of it. His carry-on luggage is too big, a fact that he should have realized back at the ticket counter. He attempts to stuff it into the overhead bin without any second thoughts about smashing the bags that have already been placed there. When he finally decides that his carry-on is too large, he has to summon a flight attendant to stow it in their front closet.

e) The obnoxious traveler during the flight. I've managed to sit right next to our problem traveler, and during the flight, he insists on using both of the arm rests leaving little or no maneuvering room for the rest of us in that row of seats. His feet are sticking over in front of my chair because he has had to cram all of the rest of his carry-on junk under the seat in front of his own. The two-gallon soda he had in the gate area has now migrated to his bladder, and he makes the expected trip to the lavatory, a move that makes me interrupt my reading, and get up to let him out. Later in the flight, he discovers that he really doesn't need to wear his jacket on the plane, and has to get back in the aisle to store that article, another move that I have to accommodate.

f) The obnoxious traveler after the landing. I told you I wasn't through griping about the cell phones. Immediately after touch-down, Mr. Obnoxious goes back to the cell phone discussion, as loud as before. Can't these people go two hours without having a phone stuck in their ears? He is retrieving his luggage from the overhead bins, and swings it wildly without giving any thought to the close quarters and the fact that he might smack someone's face with it.

Let's face it. Airports and airplanes are often crowded spaces. Close quarters and travelers who have no consideration for others can be a bad mix. Let's just hope the obnoxious traveler has had a chance to read this before his next trip.