Pet Training: Dealing with a Demanding Cat

You've just settled into your recliner with a thick novel and a hot cup of tea when, all of a sudden, here comes Kitty! If you've never shared a home with a demanding feline, you're probably wondering who would ever complain about holding a warm, purring cat on their lap while enjoying a quiet night at home. If you have experienced life with a demanding cat, however, you know your plans for a peaceful evening have evaporated, and the night belongs to Kitty.

In my case, "Kitty," is a chubby, green-eyed, gray-haired shorthair named Olivia. And if I am the one reclining restfully with the aforementioned book and tea, I'll soon be scrambling to set them aside before they go flying through the air as Olivia barrels up my chest, butting her way in between anything that separates her from my affections. Once she has suitably flattened me against the back of the chair, she'll thrust her cold wet nose against one cheek and then the other, and back again, while kneading the sides of my neck with her paws.

When we first brought Olivia and her companion cat, Freeway, home from the shelter, I read several cat care books. I do remember reading somewhere that if you give a cat regular playtime, as well as a bit of affection when they're asking for it, they'll settle down and either fall asleep in your lap or scamper off to more interesting adventures. Clearly, whoever offered that tidbit of wisdom never met a truly demanding cat because there is no such thing as 'a little' of anything with this feline personality. True, the cat may depart after a bit, but it will be back repeatedly, ready to play out the entire scene again and again.

Some demanding cats, including Olivia, want more than just affection. They expect your complete attention. The moment they see you're settling in with a book, some needlework, or a writing tablet, they'll throw, push, or nudge themselves between you and whatever it is you're focused on. Olivia even gets abusive at times when she wants attention. She will perch on the table behind my computer chair, meow for attention, and if it doesn't come, the back side of my left upper arm will soon be on the receiving end of a series of sharp little nips.

Your cat may exhibit other demanding behaviors. Some cats are vocally insistent with their owners to gain treats, food from the dinner table, or extra playtime. Other cats climb up legs for attention. Bear in mind that not all annoying behaviors are the result of a demanding personality. Your cat may just have a thing for meowing or climbing on you. The way to determine if it is a demanding behavior is to watch for escalation. If the meows don't bring results, does your cat progress to knocking things off the counter? Also, a demanding cat will typically be looking directly at you while they engage in the aggravating behavior.

Fortunately, there is hope for improving your cat's behavior.

If you do feel your cat is lacking in attention, then address that first. Give your pet affection at times when they are not 'acting up' and consider getting a companion cat if your cat is an only cat. If you don't see any progress after several weeks, however, it's time for other options.

Determine what constitutes 'good' cat behavior. If what you want is a lap cat, then contain your cat to your lap when she leaps on you. She'll try pushing and pulling her way to your chest, head, or shoulders, but if you hold her firmly while stroking her and telling her she's a good kitty, she'll settle down or leave entirely.

If you've decided you don't want the cat on your lap, place her where she does belong, either by your feet or sitting next to you. Most cats will eventually adopt a 'snuggle spot' even if it's not the one they originally desired.

When it comes to begging for treats, ignore the cat completely, unless you have previously decided this is treat time. Otherwise, do not even glance in your cat's direction regardless of how loud she gets and even if you know she's doing that cute little I'll-flip-on-my-back-in-front-of-the-treat-cabinet routine.

If your cat tries to climb on you or scratch you for your attention, detach her, set her down firmly, and scold her. If she persists, put her in a pet carrier or a closed off room for several minutes.

The three keys to success in changing your cat's behavior are deciding what you will and won't tolerate, being consistent in your methods, and rewarding your cat with treats, affection, and play when she's being good. Although your cat may still act up occasionally, with time and effort you will once again be able to fully enjoy your time with Kitty.