PETA Targets Bug Hating Aiken
"It was the most heartless thing I've ever seen," said former fan Brenda Levy. "I thought he was just wonderful, but seeing him squash those mosquitoes changed my mind. I'm organizing a CD burning. All bug lovers need to let him know we won't stand for this."
Said a representative for PETA, "Aiken's callous disregard for other creatures continues to shock and outrage. Today it's mosquitoes, tomorrow it could be roaches. Who knows where his brutality will end? It wasn't so long ago that we called attention to his history of cat violence." Aiken has previously been the target of PETA's wrath for anti-cat sentiments. "Now his behavior has escalated to the mass murder of innocent flying insects. We will be picketing his next concert and are going to court to gain control of his dogs."
It was the latest in a series of public relations nightmares for Aiken, who has been accused of starving children, violating child labor laws and spreading athlete's foot fungus on commercial airline flights.
When contacted for comment Aiken said "Don't you people have anything better to print?"
Author's Note: This is satire. No representatives for Aiken or PETA were contacted for this spoof.
Published by Kari Livingston
Kari Livingston is a freelancer writer living and loving life in the foothills of the Arkansas Ozarks. She specializes in local restaurants, attractions and family events. Her work has appeared on HubPages,... View profile
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17 Comments
Post a CommentClever :)
HAHA too cute!
before i got mad, i saw the disclaimer. but this does seem to be what some people would write.
I just want to say that before people send me any (more) nasty emails- I did not pick that picture. I know it's old.
I agree to what Clay did.Flying insect are dirty.Probably They should do something about it,not judging Clay.
OMG!! That was too funny. I loved the satire.
You know how protective clays fans are of him,.don't even say anything negatively ,.about him, even in jest or the media will take it &run. by the way, I am a BIIIIGGGGG FAN OF HIS.
kfc- if people take it seriously after the inclusion of a bold and italic disclaimer, there is nothing I can do to help them. I shouldn't have had to put a disclaimer on it at all, as it is obviously a spoof, but you can't be too careful.
Killing mosquitos I can tolerate, but killing cockroaches is definately crossing the line!
That was adorable, I, too, can see Clay reading this with a big smile on his face...and Flygate...now that's a good one!!!