Pfeiffer's Woman Shows Signs of Aging Poorly

When you ordinarily think of Michelle Pfeiffer and Amy Heckerling, the sentence would have concluded with the phrase "box office gold." This might have been true in the eighties and nineties when both women were climbing up the Tinseltown food chain with such hits as Tequila Sunrise and Clueless.

In 2005, Heckerling and Pfeiffer paired up as writer/director and actress to film the romantic comedy I Could Never be Your Woman. What should have been an easy thing to sell at the box office remained locked away for nearly three years with numerous missed release dates and a lot of people speculating about the delays. The opportunity for box office success passed this film by years ago, which explained why it went from film purgatory and was unloaded into local video stores everywhere. Unfortunately, this Woman should have stayed locked away to avoid the stigma this movie inflicted on everyone involved.

To further elaborate, the film has nothing original to offer a society submerged in numerous romantic comedies that stick to such an airtight formula leaving no room for creative legroom. The story opens with Pfeiffer's Rosie, a 40ish divorced sitcom writer, plunging through life raising her teenage daughter Izzie (Academy Award nominee Saoirse Ronan) and avoiding dating someone new. By chance, Rosie meets Adam (Paul Rudd), a late twenty-something actor auditioning for the sitcom Rosie currently writes for. In Adam, Rosie finds an opportunity to smile again and angles for him to be a larger part of the show.

During the coarse of the movie, Rosie is forced to deal with her worst fear of getting older, which results in her trying to live vicariously through Izzie's blossoming love life. She also tries to ignore her feelings for Adam by focusing on their age difference repeatedly and flipping out over non-existent transgressions. The ending was obvious from the first flash of the opening credits down to the last shot. What was not so obvious was how Heckerling was going to let the predictable unfold without allowing the audience to roll their eyes. Sadly, the film concluded with no surprises, and on a rather flat note that would make many wonder if they were tricked by Ashton Kutcher.

At times, Pfeiffer's performance reflected the credibility that allowed her to receive three Academy Award nominations for previous films. Her performance in Woman only would allow the audience to nominate her a better part in another film. She had some funny one liners that showcased Pfeiffer's sense of humor, which might have initially drew her to this film in the first place. Take for instance, when Izzie asked her Rosie at one point when it would be okay for her to have sex. Pfeiffer's Rosie responded by saying "when you have your masters degree." If Pfeiffer was allowed to have flexed her funny bone more, the movie might have been a lot better than it was.

Following the movie's theme of agelessness, she plays that perfectly every single scene she was part of. She does not look like a woman in her 40s at all. Her only weaknesses in the film were based on the writing part of the film by making Pfeiffer prance around like an oversexed high school student.

Rudd's participation as the youthful comic relief never really got the opportunity to help the movie. His portrayal of Adam basically has him running around studio lots trying to please Rosie. His habitual deer-in-the-headlights look was only amusing for about five minutes before it got really boring. Rudd's scenes with Pfeiffer play more like brother and sister than playful lovers. Their only date was at a club and the rest were just make-out sessions all around Hollywood. Ronan's participation in this film foreshadows her Oscar nominated turn in Atonement as a youth with an overactive imagination. She basically portrays Izzie in the same vein, but without falsely accusing anyone of a heinous crime.

The story itself used too many predictable plot devices, such as having Mother Nature as Rosie's conscience belittling her taste in men. The music inserted throughout random parts of the film, such as a Blink 182 song, indicated that the film suffered through too much production decay. Regrettably, the biggest casualty was that the jokes were so dated that the audience can pinpoint each year that the punchline was made, and missed each time.

In the end, time did not heal any of Woman's wounds. The setbacks likely played a factor, but who knows how it would have turned out if the movie did get the opportunity for a theatrical release. It might have been a success, or been ignored completely by the audience. There's no use in arguing in what would have happened otherwise now that the deed has already been done.