Physical, Sexual, Verbal Abuse and How to Leave Safely

Domestic abuse comes in many forms and does not just begin and end with physical violence. A person who resorts to domestic abuse usually does so to keep power and control over another person. It must be understood that whatever form it comes in domestic abuse is never acceptable.

Some examples of recognised domestic abuse

Punching you

Kicking you

Burning you with cigarettes

Hurting you in front of your children

Spitting on you

Hurting your children

Calling you a failure

Telling you there are no other options

Forcing you to have sex

Choking you

Shouting

Telling you that you're ugly

Taking your money

Stalking you

Slapping you

Isolating you

Non of the above are acceptable and no person should live in fear of domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse can happen in all kinds of relationships and for any reason regardless of age, race, sex, sexuality, disability, wealth, geography and lifestyle. Physical and sexual abuse often gets more and more severe until it results in someone getting badly hurt or even killed.

If you feel that you are being abused by someone close to you there are 3 important steps you need to take:

1. Recognise that it is happening

Domestic abuse tends to take the form of a pattern that can include destructive criticism , pressure tactics, disrespect, breaking trust, isolation and harassment. Often the abusers are sorry for their actions and promise that it will never happen again. Invariably it does.

2. Accept that you are not to blame

Accepting that someone close to you would want to harm you in anyway can be difficult to come to terms with. And many who can't explain their partner's behaviour believe that they are to blame and convince themselves that everything is their fault. This is never the case. Don't take on the blame.

3. Get help

This is not so easy but has to be done to get free. So many stay in abusive relationships believing they can change it but this rarely happens. Try talking to someone you trust, a friend or relation, if you can. If you find this difficult there are many organisations that can help and will offer you the support you need. Don't try and deal with this on your own.

Once the decision to stop the relationship is made you need to leave safely taking your children with you. Try and make sure that you have any medications that you and your children may require and take any important documents such as, marriage certificate, birth certificate, passport etc..

If you do have children please bear in mind that these young ones are the silent victims of domestic abuse, and sometimes they are also the victims. The affect domestic abuse can have on the children in the family can be severe resulting in behavioural problems, health problems, low self-confidence, anxiety to name but a few.

Domestic abuse in a relationship is unacceptable and should never be excused.