Pillow Talk and the Married Man

I remember how the ride goes. It has been a long time, but my memory is still good.

It all begins with the kissing, (or that first "one too many" drink). Clothing is strategically removed. Little whispers in the dark are shared, even though, often times, either one of you know what the other actually said. There will be more kissing; caressing, grabbing, biting and whatever else you would never do out in public.

A part of you, (that man/boy part that gets lost in the moment), will not want to stop. You know only one speed and that is Full Steam Ahead!

Then, especially for the married man, there is that little voice. That small voice that is in the back of a room full of imaginary "yous" - the "yous" that are whooping and hollering, cheering you on as you are fulfilling your manly duties. That small voice in the back of the room is what is left of your wisdom and he is shouting at you to remember that, once it is over, the talking begins.

After the first "Whoo!" is exclaimed in the darkness and the lady clutches onto you in "cuddle mode", your best bet would be to expect anything. It seems that this is the opportune time for her to, (what committed couples call), open up.

Oh, it may start out simple enough. You may even get complimented on your manly endeavors. But do not let it distract you from what is coming.

You are going to hear about her day

She is going to feel the need to share with you the trials and tribulations of her job. You will hear about her bullheaded boss and how unfair and unforgiving of a man he his. You will hear about the company pushovers, brown-nosers, back stabbers, thieves, liars, sluts and many other people that you really do not give a damn about. But you are going to lay there and listen because you love the woman lying next to you.

You will hear about her family

You knew that, at some point in the day, you would hear about her family. Any other day, say while making dinner, the talk about her family would be touch and go. But not now. You are going to hear years worth of pent up frustrations about her mother, father, sister, brother, aunts and many other people that you really do not give a damn about. But you are going to lay there and listen because you love the woman lying next to you.

You will hear about her friends

Enough said. You love the woman lying next to you, so just lay there and listen. Nod your head every once in a while and think about football. Mutter an indifferent, "Uh-huh..." every now and then. She will move on.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! FEIGN SLEEP!

Remember that last little lover's spat? You know, the one which you never apologized for because you know, in your heart, that you did nothing wrong? No? You really do not remember?

Well, you are going to be reminded, so the best thing to do is to try shutting out every word. It is all in the breathing - slowly in through the nose and even more slow out the mouth. When you exhale, try making little grunting noises just to make your fake slumber seem more authentic. Assume the act until she talks herself to sleep.

Just keep in mind; do not engage in word battles after sex. Remember that you love the woman lying next to you. More important, you are naked and at the mercy of the woman lying next to you. You have to fall asleep sometime!