Pimples and Hairs: Comments from the Mouth of Gabe

Humor helps every mother treasure those moments when their child unexpectedly surprises or embarrasses them. As a mother of two now grown sons, I am no exception.

As a mother, I look back on my boy's early childhood days quite fondly. It was a treasured time full of chuckles and smiles, laughter and tears.

For any mother to be able to look at life through the eyes of their young child, full of wonder and amazement, is an opportunity every mother should cherish. For a while you will look at the world a bit differently, and I guarantee any mother will have many fond memories to reflect upon and treasure later.

Gabriel, my youngest, was born at the military hospital in Bitburg, Germany in 1980. His German/American father was on active duty in the U.S. Air Force and we were stationed at Spangdalem Air Force Base at the time

At 12-months, Gabriel refused to take a single step away from a piece of furniture. He insisted on gripping someone's hand or grabbing onto his or her clothes for balance. He reminded me of Hasbro's roly-poly Weebles toys. Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.

Chubby little Gabriel didn't fall down either because he refused to let go of the coffee table or couch. He just kept clinging tightly, wobbling from side to side, trying to get his balance. In fact, I took him to the doctor at 12-months wanting to know what was wrong with him. The doctor assured me nothing was wrong, and Gabriel would walk when he was good and ready. In the meantime, could he ever talk!

Amazingly, he had an aptitude for speech, learning to talk long before he started walking. Gabriel said exactly what was on his mind and no one could predict what would come out of his mouth next.

Gabriel could spout out four and five word sentences before he was even a year old. He frequently shared his latest observations with those around him in a very loud, matter of fact tone. His observations and comments were all the more surprising because of his tender age and while "cute" at home, they could be down right embarrassing when out in public.

While sitting in the shopping cart during a routine trip to the commissary, Gabriel would point to every shopper passing by and comment on their appearance. Comments like, "Myyyy but that lady has ugggly shoes!" were quite common. As his mother, I felt obligated to apologize while thankful he didn't come up with something worse.

On the plus side, neither one of my sons ever threw a temper tantrum at home or out in public, but both were stubborn, especially Gabriel. The first time I took him to the barbershop was a bit of a fiasco. He was about 18 months old, a wee little guy, sitting on a stool in the barber's chair staring straight ahead at his reflection in the mirror.

Gabriel informed the barber in no uncertain terms, "You are NOTTTT going to cut myyyy hair!" Needless to say, bribery with a sucker failed, as did an offer of ice cream later. It wasn't worth the battle to try and hold him down, and the barber simply said to bring him back in a couple months and he would try again.

My newlywed girlfriend, not yet a mother herself, thought Gabriel's comments were cute. She enjoyed packing him around whenever we were running errands together. I'd hold my older son Benjamin's hand, and she would carry Gabriel on her hip. Passersby probably assumed Gabriel was her child, or so I hoped during those embarrassing moments.

One inconvenience the two of us frequently endured together, as military wives, was waiting in line at the bank on paydays. Keeping in mind, there was only one bank on the air force base, and military personnel were all paid on the same day. One easily waited in line for an hour, sometimes even longer to get cash and exchange American dollars for German deutchmarks.

On one particular such payday, I observed Gabriel watching my girlfriend finish getting ready so we could leave her apartment and run our errands. As she sat in front of her vanity fixing her hair, she remarked how she hated getting zits. Gabriel was intently watching her as she was squeezing pus from a pimple on her face.

Out of the blue, he nodded his head and remarked in a most serious tone, "Yuppp, Mom gets pickles all over her face, too!" Shocked and surprised, we both chuckled. Ironically, the word "pickel" means "pimple" in German.

Later, while standing in line at the bank, my girlfriend was holding Gabriel on her hip. Impatiently, he started swaying back and forth, from side to side laughing up at her. Then suddenly in a boomingly loud voice my darling 18-month old son remarked, "Myyyyyy, but you surrrre have a lot of dark hairrrrssss up your nose!"

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone in line automatically turned to the sound of my son's voice to witness my girlfriend blushing several shades of red. I tried hard to keep from chuckling, further embarrassing my girlfriend. As a mother training her kids to always tell the truth, all I could think to myself was, "Yup, that's my boy!"