Pinecrest Diner in San Francisco, California: A Restaurant Review

I first went to the Pinecrest Diner about three years ago, and I wrote it off immediately as overpriced, greasy tourist and drunk club kid food (being one of San Francisco's few 24 hour diners), and never bothered to go back. But then I thought, well, maybe dining at 2 A.M. wasn't giving the restaurant a fair shake. It's probably just the graveyard shift waitresses that sit at the front counter and stare out the door as if they are waiting for Superman to swoop down and rescue them from this dead-end job any second now, and won't ever pay any attention to you again once they've dropped off your food unless you literally walk up and yell in their ear. And one can only expect so much in terms of food quality from a kitchen at 2 A.M., I mean if you are shooting for anything higher than Denny's as a standard, you're probably shooting for the moon and the stars. So I decided to give it another try during the day recently, to see if it makes a difference.

Time of day certainly doesn't affect the crappy layout, with the whole restaurant being one narrow strip with a bunch of window seats around the edges and a few tables sort of wedged wherever they could get them. A terrible place for groups of more than four people, as there's only a couple seating arrangements that can accommodate such groups - and thanks to the Union Square and tourist hotel proximity, this place always seems to be stuffed to the brim during the daylight hours. The look and vibe seems to be trying to emulate a run-down 1970s New York diner. Nice if you're a 1970s New York dude, I guess. I'm not.

The service still sucks during the day. Curt and rude, when you can actually get them to acknowledge your presence. The inattentiveness seems to be studied. And I bet anything they complain they don't get tipped enough given the hotels and clubs nearby.

The food is bottom-dollar garbage, but expect to pay at least ten dollars per head. According to the menu there's a seven dollar minimum for each person.

I left completely unimpressed. The only reasons I can see for making a return trip here are convenience, laziness, or that you just enjoy being abused, fed crap and treated like scum. Of course, if you do eat here, you're likely either too drunk to read this or are a European tourist and don't understand what I'm saying. More's the pity, as apparently there's more than enough of both groups for this suckhole to keep making money hand over fist. If you really want greasy fare, just hit the Jack In The Box right across the street (also open 24 hours) for the same caliber of food but at half the price.