Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Review

Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb,
This film's so lame I put down my thumb;
As a pirate, Johnny Depp is quite a sight;
Too pretty to be a pirate
And in a sword fight.

There ain't no plot;
There ain't no wenches;
There ain't no rum!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!

Keira Knightly is a Lady who's bored;
So she holds off savages with a single sword;
Not a scratch she gets, killing dozens left and right;
Too bad pretty boy Johnny didn't join the fight.

There ain't no plot;
There ain't no wenches;
There ain't no rum!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!

Orlando Bloom's performance was finer;
Unlike Depp, he wore no eyeliner;
He faced many trials without a scratch;
Though his girl Keira is more than his match.

There ain't no plot;
There ain't no wenches;
There ain't no rum!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!

Action and adventure for kids at best;
For adults it's nothing but a big snoozefest;
Martha Stewart would make a better pirate than Depp;
She wears less makeup and she's not a schlep.

There ain't no plot;
There ain't no wenches;
There ain't no rum!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!
Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......zzzzzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzzz....