Plan Your Wedding Without Ruining Your Relationship

Love them or hate them, weddings have a way of simultaneously bringing couples together and driving them apart. The good news is: You don't have to let this wedding business drag your engagement down a path of self-destruction. Below are some things that can help you to keep your heads on your shoulders and your relationship intact during wedding planning.

Pick 3 things that are absolutely important to you and your husband-to-be.
Maybe there is a dress that you just have to wear, or there is a photography team that you can't live without. Perhaps what's important to you is that everyone receives hand-made invitations, or that everyone gets identical favors. Regardless of what is important to you, it is vital that you identify three things that will make or break your day and concentrate on making those things happen without worrying about how everything else will fall into place (because it will).

Have a wedding budget and STICK TO IT.
Your budget can get out of hand very quickly, and when it does it has great potential to have long lasting ramifications. Although it might be awkward, sit down with your groom and both sets of parents (if you are lucky enough that they are able to pitch in) and work out a budget that you can all agree on. Once you have a budget set, you will be able to identify what you can afford, and what you can afford to do without.

Don't tell your fiancee that you think his idea is stupid.
When talking over the details of the big day, take the time to listen to one another and really consider the ideas that both of you have. It is very easy for brides to brush aside their groom's idea for a beer-fountain or a mud-wrestling pit. But, you need to realize that those ideas come from his desire to make sure that everyone good time. Although his ideas may seem far-fetched, see if you can find ways to incorporate some of them into your celebration. It will make your husband-to-be feel like his needs, wants and ideas are valued; and that's what marriage is all about.

Give yourself enough time to get things done.
Many couples are so enthralled at the idea of being married that they want to get the nuptials done right away. What most don't realize though is how much work really goes into a wedding and reception; planning them can be a full-time job! Skip the stress of trying to plan a wedding in a few weeks, and make sure you have several months to get it together.

Be flexible.
If the church that you want is booked the day that you want to get married, be open to the idea of scheduling for another day. If the dress that you want is more than your annual salary, see if you can find a similar dress at a discount. The only way for you to get over the stress of things not going exactly your way is to be flexible and open to other options. There are many things that will end up being out of your control, and you owe it to yourself to not get bogged down by them.

Don't worry about tradition.
In today's world of single moms, scattered family, same-sex marriage, multi-lingual and integrated religious families; this author believes that tradition has to take a back seat to practicality. Go ahead and ditch outdated traditions, especially since the more you stray from tradition the more unique and memorable your wedding will be.

Take time off.
It is a requirement that you and your fiancee spend time together away from planning. Schedule one day a week where you can just be you and he can just be him, and spend the day doing something that the two of you love doing together. Your minds and relationship will flourish when you give yourselves a break and take time to experience the fun and relaxation that made you want to get married in the first place.

Find out what each of you wants to "opt-out" of.
More and more, brides and grooms are planning their weddings together. Be aware that when you are working together, you will inevitably find something that one or the other of you just doesn't want to do. Maybe he truly doesn't know anything about photography, but you have a passion for lighting and film. Perhaps you don't know the first thing about archways but he enjoys building things with his hands. Communicate with one another and pick and choose who will be in charge of what, and then let the person in charge deal with the task.

Ask for help.
Many couples can't afford a professional wedding planner, and the details can become mind boggling when you're doing it on your own. Be aware that even if you can't afford to hire a wedding planner, professional help is all around you! If you find yourself in the midst of a decision that you are unsure of, don't be afraid to ask the reception hall coordinator, the photographer, the caterer or the cake decorator for their advice. Their business is weddings, and you will be surprised at the amount of insight they have as to what works and what doesn't.

Enjoy yourself.
Don't ever lose sight of the fun that you can have when you're planning your wedding. So many brides and grooms get caught up in the stress of making sure that every possible detail has been planned to perfection that they miss out on the party going on all around them. At what other time will you be able to play hooky from work to taste cakes for free and play dress-up in designer gowns and tuxes? Take time to laugh at yourselves during awkward moments and find of humor in the things that go awry, because laughter makes the love go 'round.

The most important thing to keep in mind while you are planning your wedding is to keep true to yourselves. This is a day for both of you to shine, but you won't be able to enjoy it if you have worked yourself to the point of exhaustion during the planning stages. Kick back, relax, and solve issues one at a time as they come up. In the end, you will be gorgeous, he will be handsome, and you will be pronounced husband and wife. Isn't that all that really matters?

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