Planning a Wedding? Don't Fall into the First Time Bride Trap

So you are planning a wedding. Most likely you are the bride to be (according to tradition) or maybe you are one of the bride and groom's friends or relatives acting as wedding event planner. Either way you have a fun and challenging project on your hands.

Very likely you plan to or have already begun to consult with various wedding vendors such as caterers, decorators, wedding reception entertainment such as bands or DJs and unique wedding venues or the traditional church or synagogue location if applicable. And likely you realize at even this early stage- or it is safe to say you will soon learn- that every single wedding service provider company is very different.

Whether they are a newly in operation business or several years pro at the wedding event orchestration, it is almost always the case that your affiliated contact person has a unique style. He or she will approach the wedding event discussion with a vision of what the ideal wedding could be for you while incorporating designs and strategies specific to the particular company they work for (acknowledging of course that a primary goal of all of them is profit).

You might even find that many of these wedding vendors, especially if and once they know you are doing this (wedding planning) for the first time, will try to take you by the hand, so to speak, and guide you through the entire process.

While this leadership role is without a doubt helpful to brides to be or others acting as wedding event planners, it can sometimes cloud your own vision and common sense strategies. You might find that once you get into the throes of the wedding planning with the main event overseer (which in most cases will be the caterer), you realize that some of the original questions and ideas you had on your own before consulting with anyone now seem moot to discuss.

The catering director or whoever your wedding vendor consultant happens to be who you notice taking the most control can very easily, though not always intentionally or evil spiritedly, set you in a sort of haze in your mind when you think of the wedding planning specifics. They make it sound so easy and perfect.

It is important though as the gal in charge of the wedding planning operation to always maintain your control over the process and remain assertive with your questions, suggestions or frustrations. This way you can be sure that you fully understand the discussions that are being made, the choices (whatever they may be) that you really wish to select are selected, the budget you wish to maintain is kept, and the wedding expectations you have are for the most part met within reason.

This does not require so much extra effort on your part in terms of anything real specific. Instead it only advises that you commit to remain very alert and keenly aware of everything that takes place as is discussed during the planning process. In other words, it simply suggests that you do whatever it requires for you to keep track of the wedding planning specifics as they evolve, whether that means taking thorough notes during discussions with the vendors or whatever you need to do to stay in control.

In fact you may not need to change your ways at all to remain assertive; perhaps as the bride to be and wedding planner you know just what you want, exactly which questions you need answered, and you make sure to put these needs into action. Some brides to be planning a wedding though, find that they are so excited and overwhelmed when thinking about the future event in general, that it is easy to slip away into that dream world where the wedding specifics are too good to be true and your budget consists of endless funds.

And again, while I don't believe wedding vendors who you deal with would intentionally try to distract you from making sure your most crucial wedding needs are met, there is the underlying fact that these individuals are first and foremost running a business. This essentially translates to "they want to make as much money as they can".

Which, then, means obviously that it is in their own best interest (and in all fairness occasionally your own as well too if it works out that way) to present you with and place more emphasis on the more expensive options for food, decorations, etc. They show you all these fabulous ideas and you always wanted the perfect wedding so you let this expert take control and run with the wedding planning, assuming that since you gave them your budget requirements she or he will naturally stick to them.

But then suddenly after you create the perfect wedding scenario with their aggressive guidance you eventually come back to earth and remember you have to shell out money for the whole thing and when you see the price quote these great ideas don't sound as favorable as they once did not to mention that so many frills have been added that this theme you've created is now way over your original budget. And then you have to spend even more time taking things out and rearranging the whole plan altogether, almost as if from scratch again, in order to bring the price down to an affordable one.

It is not hard to fall into this trap. It happens to brides to be acting as wedding planners all the time. But the good news is that it is simple to prevent. The key to avoiding this annoying time wasting wedding planning trap is again, to just be very aware and assertive in demanding your needs during any interaction with a wedding vendor during the wedding planning process. Again, they are not mean spiritedly trying to make a fool out of you or take advantage but if they believe they can sell you something more expensive than what you originally requested, by all means they are going to attempt to do so. It's just how the game works.

However you will find, very likely with much relief, that by standing your ground and speaking up frequently from the very first conversation with these wedding vendors, you will establish a relationship that works in your favor and allows you to get the most from the vendor while remaining in control of your big day the whole time.