Planning a Wedding, Managing the Stress

Many a wedding has resulted in tears of anger and screaming and yelling by the brides and their mothers. This very happy day can have a very unhappy planning stage if you are not careful to set up the ground rules beforehand. There are ways, however, to make sure that everyone has a joyous time at the wedding - and in planning it.

First, you will need to decide whose input you want. That may sound a bit silly, but think about it. Your mom and grandmothers probably are a given as far as who will be part of your unofficial planning committee. The question comes in if you are conventional and your bohemian sister wants to contribute by telling what other people may think of your decisions. Know beforehand whether you plan to include her advice or just politely listen and then do what you want anyway. Then there's Aunt Ethel. She may want very much to be involved, but you may dislike her tastes. That doesn't even begin to cover your fiancé's family. You and the people close to you need to know who is to be involved.

Once you have decided who will help you plan, you need to have a sit down with everyone. Tell them what you plan to do and then have their input. You will need to decide when to be firm about what you envision at your wedding. If you really want to have a violinist, don't let your mother talk you into the more traditional piano. If the flowers in your attendants' bouquets are not a big concern of yours, let your mom get what she wants there. It is important that while you may bend on certain details, you and your fiancé should set the tone of your wedding and reception. This day should be about you and your interests - not what makes everyone else happy. Be sure that you keep it that way.

You also need to be very clear about who has the authority to make changes to the wedding. Discuss this detail with the people you hire as well. The caterer should know if Grandma Sue can call up and change the design of the cake or not. Tell everyone now what decision-making capacity he or she has. You also should detail what your fiancé's involvement will be. It wasn't too long ago that men stayed out of their wedding plans entirely, but that has changed. Just make sure that your mom knows that your groom-to-be wants to be there and how he does.

Staying organized will be your best defense against the stresses of wedding planning. Be sure to keep lists with you of everything that you need to do and the names and numbers of people who will be involved in your wedding. You should be able to contact everyone quickly. One way that many brides are finding to keep up with everyone is to start a website so that they can post information once so that everyone may refer to it when needed.

If you keep yourself organized, you will have an easier time managing the stress of planning your wedding. Don't be afraid to take a step back when you need to. If the stress is getting to be too much, take one Saturday afternoon to pamper yourself and forget about the planning. Then get back to planning for the most exciting day of your life!