Platonic Relationships: Can Men and Women Just Be Close Friends?

Sometimes close friendships develop between men and women that seem to offer advantages over traditional relationships. They can share their ups and downs without being burdened by any expectations of having to provide the answers to each other's problems. Perhaps one or both of them are coming out of painful relationships and they therefore enjoy the opportunity to interact without the added stress of physical intimacy. Platonic relationships can be beneficial on both sides, but are they feasible to sustain over the long haul?

Though the notion of such relationships continues to persist, the fact remains that few of the people involved in them manage to resist the temptation to want to move things to the next level. A warm and close interaction indicates that affection is present, and it's only natural that we would want to give it an outlet. Human beings express themselves as much through their bodies as through their words.

Nor is "heating up" an innocent friendship the only way of ending it. What if the two people feel no attraction towards each other? Then they will (unless they plan on entering a monastery) inevitably get involved with other people. It's very rare that a platonic connection can survive a new relationship, because its dynamics will almost certainly shift. A man, for example, would have a new confidante: his girlfriend. She may - quite understandably - feel threatened by his connection with another female. He can then either sacrifice the platonic friendship if his needs are being met by his girlfriend, or else hold onto it because he has a unique interaction with his friend - and this would put strain on the relationship. If his platonic friend enters into a relationship herself, then the rules of engagement can become too complicated for anyone to get their head around.

A friendship between a man and a woman that's devoid of sexual involvement can yield a lot of the same advantages of a good relationship, like warmth and understanding, without some of the attendant stress - for a period of time. However, the natural inclinations of the heart and the impetus of biological instinct will inevitably drive the two to either up the ante or else look elsewhere. Who can say if this is the result of the "hard-wiring" of our species, or our cultural conditioning, or both? Friendships do, of course, endure between men and women who're not sexually involved. However, these situations almost always have to be kept casual, with certain boundaries carefully respected. Otherwise we enter the realm of temptation, and a new relationship whose conditions differ greatly from the former one's.