Playgroups - Not All Fun and Games
Thinking of joining a playgroup? What a great idea! There are many perks - child socialization, a wide array of fun activities, and for you, interaction with other mothers. Before you head off to your local play date, consider the following, as suggested by several members of the Mommy and Me playgroup of Sicklerville, NJ:
First, determine the age range of the playgroup you would like to join. If your child is a crawler, you may want to reconsider joining a playgroup geared towards older children. Not only will you and your child have difficulty fitting in, your child could also get hurt.
Second, talk to the playgroup organizer and discuss the rules and expectations of the playgroup. In addition to general guidelines regarding illnesses and cancellations, several playgroups also have hidden expectations in terms of event attendance, hosting play dates and membership fees.
It is also important to discuss the general demographics of the group. Are the majority of members first time mothers?, Where do they live?, How many boys/girls are in the group? Answers to these questions will help determine if the playgroup is a good match for you, and your child.
Once you have joined a group, understand that the politics of people will soon creep their way in. Unfortunately, there will be times when playgroups are not all fun and games.
If you decide to host a play date, realize that not everyone will respect your home as much as you do. Brace yourself for the fact that some mothers may think it is perfectly acceptable to change their child's dirty diaper on your family's dinner table. Even if you are unable to host a play date, try to assume some responsibility for the event by bringing a snack or helping the host clean up after the children are finished playing.
It is also important to recognize that not everyone will share in your parenting philosophies. Some parents may not address their child's inappropriate behavior, while others may have a more lax attitude on child rearing. Not only will you judge other's parenting skills, but your parenting skills will be judged as well.
And of course, there's basic group dynamics. Some mothers can be competitive, while others are just too different from you. Not everyone is going to get along; nevertheless, personal connections, or lack thereof, should not interfere with the group as a whole.
Playgroups can be an enriching experience and a source of great friendships; however, it is important to do your research and fully understand the pros and cons of playgroups.
First, determine the age range of the playgroup you would like to join. If your child is a crawler, you may want to reconsider joining a playgroup geared towards older children. Not only will you and your child have difficulty fitting in, your child could also get hurt.
Second, talk to the playgroup organizer and discuss the rules and expectations of the playgroup. In addition to general guidelines regarding illnesses and cancellations, several playgroups also have hidden expectations in terms of event attendance, hosting play dates and membership fees.
It is also important to discuss the general demographics of the group. Are the majority of members first time mothers?, Where do they live?, How many boys/girls are in the group? Answers to these questions will help determine if the playgroup is a good match for you, and your child.
Once you have joined a group, understand that the politics of people will soon creep their way in. Unfortunately, there will be times when playgroups are not all fun and games.
If you decide to host a play date, realize that not everyone will respect your home as much as you do. Brace yourself for the fact that some mothers may think it is perfectly acceptable to change their child's dirty diaper on your family's dinner table. Even if you are unable to host a play date, try to assume some responsibility for the event by bringing a snack or helping the host clean up after the children are finished playing.
It is also important to recognize that not everyone will share in your parenting philosophies. Some parents may not address their child's inappropriate behavior, while others may have a more lax attitude on child rearing. Not only will you judge other's parenting skills, but your parenting skills will be judged as well.
And of course, there's basic group dynamics. Some mothers can be competitive, while others are just too different from you. Not everyone is going to get along; nevertheless, personal connections, or lack thereof, should not interfere with the group as a whole.
Playgroups can be an enriching experience and a source of great friendships; however, it is important to do your research and fully understand the pros and cons of playgroups.
Now, go play nice in the sandbox!
Published by Moxie Mommy
Moxie Mommy features the creative and nonfiction work of a full-time fundraiser and graduate of Rowan University's Master of Arts in Writing program. A first time mother to a fabulously delicious baby boy,... View profile
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