Playing the Game

You're sitting at a café table, sipping on a latte, when your friend suddenly slaps her forehead and moans, "Oh man, I lost The Game!" With an inquisitive eyebrow, you uncertainly question her.

You ask the question that everyone in their right mind asks when no chess board or TV football game is near. "What game?"

The Game is similar to a chain letter, or rather, chain e-mail as they are now passed as Spam through the cyberlinks of the Internet. Its popularity is slowly spreading throughout the country, fueled by networking websites such as MySpace.com and Facebook.com.

You are always playing The Game. You lose The Game when you think about it, about playing it, or when you hear about it. You cannot think about playing The Game, or you lose. Once you have lost The Game, you must run to the nearest person, tell the person the nature of The Game, and then immediately forget that you have lost and start over playing.

For example, you are waltzing your way down the street, when suddenly you remember that you're playing The Game. The next instant you realize that you have lost, because you thought about playing. Quick, run! You must find someone to pass The Game onto, and subsequently drive absolutely mad.

The Game will not provide you with physical exertion of any kind--except for the mad dash to find a new victim to introduce The Game to--only humor, entertainment, and jocularity. Anyone can play, which is most practical because everyone is always playing, whether they are aware of it or not.

So the next time you are out and about, perhaps in your local grocery store's produce section, selecting a tasty eggplant to bread and grill for supper, do not think about The Game! You will be forced by the rules of Game-hood to sprint to the nearest, unaware consumer and enlighten them with the maddening and delightful laws of The Game.

On a completely tangential note, "game" is an extremely weird word. After writing it so many times-and probably after reading it so many times-you begin to wonder, who on Earth wrote the English language?

I digress. The Game is as fun, playful, and entertaining as any chess game or rowdy, raucous night in front of a televised football game. Besides that, you can play it anytime, anywhere, and most importantly, everywhere!

Don't forget: Don't think about The Game.

Good luck.