Playing to Lose; The Anti-Fantasy Football Season

Usually, when you play fantasy football, you want to try and win. This year, I took the approach of Matt Millan and the Detroit Lions and attempted to do just the opposite. But I didn't try it for future #1 draft picks or because I am inept, this is the story of my deliberate attempt to suck on purpose at fantasy football.

This season, I played to lose.

The Setup

I began with some ground rules. Losing would be too easy if I just fielded subs, injured players, and those on bye weeks. I put aside my instincts and attempted to form a roster that will provide me with the least amount of points.

But I couldn't let anyone onto what I was doing or it would disrupt the integrity of the league, as if that's not ironic. I was trying to lose yet I had to pretend I wanted to win despite my actions. So, to provide a cover for my bad decisions, I role played a newbie to fantasy sports.

All I needed at this point was a name, something odd but with the meaning of what I am doing. Something that would indicate what I was up to. I settled on "Playing To Lose" translated into Hawaiian as: "Pepa Hana Nalo".

Now it was time to find a league. I found a few that were drafting on the night I was available and emailed all of them this message:

Hello!

My name is Chris and I really want to try fantasy sports, and figured football was the one to start with. Go Patriots!!! Wooot!!

Anywayz, I was searching the leagues and I liked your league and wanted to know if I could join. A friend of mine talked to me about kickers in fantasy football and also that it's a real commitment. I understand I would have to field a lineup every week and not be stupid and start bye week players and stuff like bad hammys. I promise I'll stick it out, no matter how bad my team may be. (Thinking realistic hehe)

I've been looking over some stats I feel could help me win but I know I am probably way off. Still, I made a complete draft list of all 653 players in the NFL. SO I am ready for fantasy football. I think keke. :P

So can I join your league?

My team name is Pepa Hana Nalo btw cause Spanish class was full at school this year. It means "Playing to Win" in Guandanan or whoever you spell it.

Sincerely,

Chris

The ones who replied all mentioned how thorough and prepared I was by ranking all 653 players, a figure I made up. I picked one and the show was on.

The Draft

This was fun as I was sweating profusely and actually shaking, like I was commiting a crime. I was sure someone would figure it out once they begin to see my team form, especially when my first pick was made.

I had the tenth pick out of twelve and chose Brett Favre. The replies in league chat were ones of shock and laughter, and surprisingly a few of the owners defended me, stating I was new to fantasy football. The nervousness faded at that point, knowing I had fooled them. Game on!

By the time I was done I had probably one of the worst fantasy teams ever. I looked for players over the hill, underachievers, injury risks, etc. I showed friends the roster and their first reaction was laughter. View for yourself the debacle:

QB:
B. Favre, C. Simms, B. Volek

RB:
F. Taylor, D. Foster, L. Maroney

WR:
A. Johnson, J. Porter, I. Bruce, Sin Moss, M. Robinson

TE:
J. Stevens, H. Miller

K:
J. Hansen, J. Nedney

Def:
Buff, Ten

Before the season started I received "good news", Volek was out at Tennesee, and Jeremy Stevens was hurt. I was on the road to utter defeat. Or so I thought.

Kinks in the plan

The first hurdle I was not aware of going into the draft was the starting lineup. You had to start TWO quarterbacks and TWO defenses. While I was confident of the ineptitude of my team, it did hurt me, well help me, err, um it helped me not lose. Starting two qb's on crappy teams can be a bad thing because they play other crappy teams and can light it up occasionally. They also throw a lot because they are playing from behind a lot, so they can get garbage yards and points late in the game as defenses relax. Same problems exist with defenses.

The other problem I had was a big one and it broke my philosophy, I was winning! After the fourth week of the season my sucky team was 3-0-1 and in first place! Favre had a decent start, Mulroney was nasty, Taylor wasn't hurt and I was not losing. Go figure.

Change in the Plan

Suddenly the goal became to take this roster, pick up players and try to make the playoffs. Unfortunately, those gems in the free agent market are around very early in the season but I wasn't looking to win in week two. When I was trying to get a w in week five all that was left were scraps.

The next few weeks would harbor a three game losing streak, which is weird seeing that when I was trying to lose I won. Now that I was trying to do the opposite, I couldn't win. Despite the downfall, I was still in the playoff chase, thanks to my tie and lucky scheduling. It also was an incredible job of roster management, I did more lineup shuffling and working the free agents then I think I have ever done in the past.

Arriving at week thirteen, and two games away from the end of the regular fantasy season, I was a half game out of the fourth and final playoff spot. Because of the schedule, I would need to win both games. I needed help from the outcomes of other matchups as well, but I was still in the playoff hunt.

I ended up losing that week which put me out of the playoffs. Still, I was in it for thirteen out of fourteen weeks. Not too shabby. I ended with a 6-7-1 record and the second lowest points in the league. There is something to be said for scheduling.

The Lesson

Originally I was going to say that I felt playing to lose was as hard as playing to win. But I didn't really give the experiment a chance as I ended up trying to make the playoffs in a complete luck situation. The season became a situation of "wouldn't it be funny if I made the post season with this scrubby team".

But I learned something else unexpected by doing this experiment: In a public, pick up fantasy football league it isn't hard to content for a playoff spot. If you stick with your team, make substitutions, try and guess right on matchups, and have a lucky schedule you could be in the postseason. There is something to be said for working hard and staying on top of things with a mediocre fantasy roster.

Winning it all however...a whole different ballgame.