Playstation 3: The New Grudge Match?

The holidays approach as new generation game consoles beckon, irresistibly tempting hardcore gamers along with frazzled parents who either pay-up or explain away their inability to keep up to yearning tots, their little eyes full of shiny pixels of playing power.

I won't bore you with the umpteenth tech spec analysis or console vs. console breakdown, nor ponder the potential dominance of Sony's Playstation 3 or the imminent fall of Microsoft's Xbox. I'd merely like to mull over this season of choice and how it's looking for our game-gorging, button mashing society of video game junkies.

Just how is this season of goodwill shaping up?

> Gun fights over the Playstation 3 release in New York and Ohio.
> Violent robbery attempts on PS3 customers perpetrated in several locations.
> Stampedes leading to severe head injuries in people "running" a PS3 buying Race.
> Stressed out store "camp out" lines leading to petty fights and arguments.

Holiday Greetings To All! Tis The Season To Be Jerky.

It's all over the news and it's disgusting. Teens and adults alike threatening, intimidating or in some cases even using lethal force to beat each other out of a video game console. All this violence over a toy. Disgusting, yes, but are we really shocked?

It's nothing new. Remember the Cabbage Patch Kids? Tickle Me Elmo? Those toys led to violence too. Most of us can recall a time when the dizzying demand far out weighed the supply of a new or highly desired product. These days though the stakes are of course much higher. Now there's an online commerce marketplace where we sell practically anything. Ebay allows the early bird - the bird who pushes people around, intimidates, and camps out in the rain, sleet or snow -etc. - to take their hard won cyber prize and sell it at a premium. What a way to make a fast honest buck! And if the honesty entails stomping a few feet or threatening people, hey they're not breaking the law, right?

I propose another way to capitalize on this frenzy. A new video game is in order to document our obsession with being the first to own the new silly silicon powered toy. This game cries out to be sold right along side Nintendo Super Mario romps, XBOX HALO rampages and Soul Calibur martial arts fight fests. It would effectively capture the spirit of our tacky times better than any edition of Grand Theft Auto or Bully ever could:

VIDEO GAME CONSOLE WARRIOR!

The Time: Now. Anytime. Holiday Seasons Especially Perfect.
The Place: Any electronics store, Wal-Mart or Shopping Mall in America.
The Players: You VS the "consoles pimps" - who scalp consoles on Ebay.

The Goal: Outwit, outplay and ultimately trash video game console pimps & pushers. Navigate a crazy urban & suburban landscape of outlet stores, electronic boutiques and the Internet to vanquish video vermin who exploit human greed and vanity to be the first, the biggest and the baddest video game jockey on the block!

Imagine the sequels:

VID GAME CONSOLE: BARBARIAN!
VID GAME CONSOLE: MERCENARY!
VID GAME CONSOLE: ASSASIN!
VID GAME CONSOLE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

Who wouldn't want to be the first to play? Sony, Nintendo & Microsoft could hold competitions. Reality TV contests? Online auctioning? Hello Marketing tie-ins!

Am I trying to rain on everybody's video game parade? No. So, please don't call me the Game Grinch. Yeah it's tempting getting the newest video console on release day, but I'd rather play old PS2 titles. Sure, they aren't the slickest, coolest or latest, but you know what I like my legs. I'm quite attached to them. I like my eyesight. Losing a limb or my eyes courtesy of a video game release rumble is just a bit too much playtime for me.

Just call me old fashioned that way.