Please Downrate Me!

Then you check out the front page later only to find your article gone. Bummer. So you check out your rating. 1.3? 2.4? What? You have to read the comments so that you know why you suck so badly, but there aren't any! What gives?

Fellow AC Content Producers, since article ratings will not be going anywhere anytime soon, I would like to propose a new way to interpret your article ratings. (Here comes the reverse psychology for the "downrater".)

If your score is above a 4.7, you live with your mom and she has a network of computers at her disposal. She spends one hour per day rating your articles "5" over and over again. On a scale of 1 to 5, she loves you a 5.

Or, quite possibly, you practice "Starbating". Similar to "Googlebating" where you search for your own name on the internet; "Starbating" is where you rate your own articles over and over again. On a scale of 1 to 5, you love yourself a 5.

If your score is between 4.0 and 4.6, your fellow CP, friends and family love you. Your fellow CPs like your work and want you to check theirs out. Your friends like your work because it gets you paid which means you can pay them back for lunch the other day, and your family loves your work because they're finally glad you kicked your addiction of playing online Family Feud 6 hours a day. Good for you.

If your score is between a 3.0 or a 4.0, no one is seeing or reading your articles. You need to start networking a little. Although, you could join the 4.6 crowd and enjoy a little "you" time. Or, if you can get just one of your articles to hit the front page for a minute amount of time, the "downrater" can help you. How? Read on...

If your score is below a 3.0; you should be rejoicing. You are being read! If you're staring down a 1.4 and you didn't write an article about why the Holocaust was necessary or how society benefits from Child Pornography, then your rating should not be that low. So before you toss out that laptop and decide Burger King is your new career choice, take heart fellow CP. Low ratings mean more than you're being read, they also mean your clout is on its way to being orange with double rings. That nasty "downrater" has to visit your page every time he/she rates it. That's more page views for you. In addition, if someone really hates your work and feels the need to come back to your page over and over again to drive their argument home; page views! As Martha Stewart would say, "Page views; it's a good thing".

In the end, ratings on AC articles are really worthless except for the 15 minutes of glory you earn on the front page before the envious or disgruntled down rate your article so bad it would take your Mom a month to move it even one point.

I hope this makes the front page. I can't wait to be a 1.3!