Please, Hang On

We all know of different time zones,

There's Eastern and Central I'm told,

But today I learned of another,

When a company put me on hold.

"Please, hold, someone will help you 'shortly,'"

And I found "shortly" is a relative term,

As I sat waiting for several minutes,

"Shortly" doesn't mean "soon" I learned.

Just as I started to hang up,

I heard the encouraging phrase,

"Wait time is approximately two minutes,"

Who knew "minutes" actually meant "days"?

Because the recording said that I was important,

And they'd help me as soon as they could,

I decided to hang in there longer,

Hanging up would do me no good.

Finally a real person answered,

I was elated to tell her my woes,

But she said, "Sorry I can't help you.

I'll transfer you to someone who knows."

And then the cycle continued

As once again I was told,

"Someone will help you shortly,"

And cruelly put back on hold.

I slammed down the phone and decided,

My time is precious to me,

So I threw the bill in the garbage,

I figured they'd call me back "shortly."