Plight of the Nice Guy

I have spent a great deal of my life looking for the 'Nice Guy'. I've looked in Laundromats, coffee shops, dark alleyways; and yet my search comes up empty. People would tell me that such a man does not exist, bringing up images of unicorns or dragons. 'It isn't true!' I'd scream. People would say that no one likes a nice guy. It isn't true, because I seek such men out. I think of it as a fairy tale. Eventually my dreams of romance and love will come true. If we all work together, it can happen not just for me, but for everyone.

I've found through my studies (studies meaning watching movies and looking at couples in Laundromats, coffee shops, and dark alleyways) that there are plenty of nice guys. A lot of girls want nice guys. Yes, there are some girls that intentionally seek out bad men, but that is a whole world of craziness seeing as that group of women has deep-seeded emotional issues. I have come to the conclusion that the bad ones are like wolves in sheep's clothing. They pretend to be nice so you think you have this great, smart, passionate, romantic man; and then they steal your stereo and knock up your mom. After all, if they acted like their horrible selves, we wouldn't want them!

Take this scenario: You are a lady having a leisurely time by yourself at a bar. There is a guy on either side of the bar. On the right is Good. He's nice and sweet and cute. He buys you flowers and provides a shoulder for when you have the obligatory waterworks. Unfortunately he is shy, so he needs to work up his nerves to talk to you. After all, he doesn't want to seem pushy or too forward. To the left is Evil. He likes to have sex with plenty of girls in one week, and has at least 3 STD's (he's waiting for the doctor's word on the fourth.) Unfortunately, Evil knows how to pick up women; it is what he does best. What does he do to woo her? He pretends to be Good! But with a difference! He approaches the girl!

All the woman thinks is that there are two equally attractive and sweet guys, except one approaches her and one doesn't. Who does she choose?? EVIL. It is easier that way. Then, sure enough, two weeks later he hasn't called, she is pregnant, and she found out she has Chlamydia. And of course, all her friends tell her there are no good guys.

The evidence is all there people!

I have this advice for you GOOD guys: approach the ladies and never lose hope. Eventually you will find your number one cool lady. You'll find her when you least expect it, and she will be just as good as you.

I have this advice to the ladies: If you really want to find a nice guy, don't do what my example girl does. Don't wait for men to come to you! If you see a guy who looks shy, talk to him! We are living in the 'New Millennium,' we need to start acting like it.