Poetry Of The Unconscious Mind

The bible is full of wonderful stories. However, there is one in particular that ties in with the one being told here. Beginning in Genesis 37, Joseph, the eleventh son of Jacob, had the ability to interpret his dreams. In his first two dreams, the symbols were associated with his work. As a seventeen-year-old shepherd boy, this was standard. He dreamt that he was in the cornfields working with his brothers when suddenly his sheaf rose and stood upright, and the sheaves of his brothers gathered around and bowed before it. The brothers, recognizing the symbol this implied, resented the arrogance of the dream; and even his father rebuked him. When Joseph's second dream showed the sun, moon, and eleven stars bowing down to him, his father said, "Shall I and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down to thee to the earth?" The young Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers because of their jealousy, and some time later he rose to the position of overseer in the house of Potiphar. Then, having rejected the advances of Potiphar's wife, he found himself in prison.

Haley laid there in the doctor's chase lounge feeling as though she might as well be in the same cell with Joseph. Both were lost and confused about the dreams God sent to them. However, Haley wasn't technically in a jail. Some like to use the term, "mental institution." Jails are for the wrongdoing, yet Haley was simply one of the wrong thinking.

Doctor Philippe Frassin could just barely see above his desk to make out Haley's emotions. He was a solemn gentleman with round gray eyes that were like two silver coins. His bald round head used to have thick, straight hair the color of fine gold seen currently on his facial hair. He wore a stubbly beard and moustache that created a pear shape for a face. Though he is very short with a wide-chested build, and a very bizarre wardrobe, he was a highly recommended dream psychologist. Even the most top-notch celebrities used him while they were in the middle of movies. They would play one character all day, and not have control over the character they played all night... thus losing them self in the process.

Haley came here on very different terms, however. Her journey was not one of stardom, but one of sin.

"Sin is a theological term, Haley, and not often found in psychology due to the fact that it deals with moral standards, which is not often the focus of psychology," the doctor started. "Guilt, however, is a central concern, and stems from sin. Theological guilt does not coincide in extent with legal guilt though. Is this guilt that you're feeling?"

"Yes. Deep, and inerasable," Haley replied as her voice quivered, and eyes began to water.

"You see my dear; there are many sins against God which are not included in the human legal code. For example, a man may lie or lose his temper, but neither of these sins is indictable in the courts in the ordinary way. However, if his lie is slanderous, or if in his rage he commits a personal assault, then he becomes guilty before the law, but there are a hundred and one ways in which we may sin against God without breaking the law of the land," as the doctor tried to ease her emotions.

"But what about sins in my unconscious, doctor? What do I do about those? God obviously sees our dreams if he communicates with us through them. He saw me kill someone in my dream, doctor! Where are the rules for psychology and guilt in that?" as Haley cried into the oversized pillow gracing the lounge.

The doctor knew this was something different than his normal case. She was young, and had a delicate conscious. So he said, "Haley, I may not be able to reason with you right away about your dream, so why don't we start off by getting to know one another? Tell me a little bit about where you come from, eh?"

Sniffling like a baby puppy out of the womb, she rolled back over, and began to speak. Her voice was embodied with the purity of Virgin Mary. This noble girl has big brown coffee-colored eyes, so rich in color; one could sink into the sandpit of her soul just by gazing too deeply into them. Her fine, wavy, brown hair was short and worn in an elegant, complex style. Short in stature and with an hourglass build, her skin lye cream-colored tracing her prominent cheekbones and full lips. Her wardrobe was about as simple as her personality. As a pastor's daughter, she had to live a life seen as perfect. And what was she doing here? "You're wondering why I am here, right? Why I didn't just pray, or vent in a confessional?" She murmured. "Well, it's a long story."

Doctor Frassin knew why she was here. He got the call from the LA Police Department. He recalls mostly the chuckling on the phone. But, he wanted to know why this dream she had seemed so real she turned herself in. So he asked her, "Haley, let's just start from the beginning. Tell me about this dream of yours. Why was this dream so real that your guilt there after led you to the police department of all places?"

"I'm normal. I'm a Christian girl. I have never broken the law. I haven't even gone to a bar, and I just turned 21. My boyfriend and I pray together, and stay abstinent. I volunteer, and work for a non-profit organization. I shouldn't even be here! This place is for crazies! What are you going to do to fix what I already dreamed? Unless you are God, or have powerful connections to him, I don't think this is going to help. I am just here following procedure," as Haley crossed her legs and awaited a reply.

The doctor carefully thought about his next words, and began in a slow, calm voice, "Man is more evil than he would readily admit, but he is also more moral than he realizes. Do you know who said that my dear?"

"No," she replied, but assumed it was some verse she must have missed.

"Sigmund Freud believed that the dream, if understood correctly, could lead to a greater understanding of the dreamer's subconscious. We may not pray in our dreams, Haley, but the meaning behind our dreams may influence our prayers." The doctor pulls out a notebook and pen, and sets it on the edge of his desk. "I want you to start a dream journal. Simply write down the events in your dream, and we will discuss them in our sessions. If you keep up with it, and I see that you are making progress, we can release you by the end of the week."

Haley was up for the task, and reached for the notebook like she was reaching for salvation. Her hope to be pure in conscious was essential to her happiness. She shut the doctor's office door and walked down the hallway to her dormitory style cell. The walls were padded, but she just thought of it as some new modern design off of trading spaces. Darn neighbors...were designing her room like a mental ward. As one of the guards locked the door behind her, she crawled into her metal-spring bed and cried. Tears ran individually down her cheek and pooled upon the plastic lined mattress exposed under the sheets she was clinging so tightly to. Haley was alone for the first time in her life. No youth group. No family. No charity. No boyfriend. Even God seemed distant as the padded walls began to act as padding covering her heart. So she closed her eyes, waiting what was to come.

Haley rested her head on Derek's lap as they zoned off into the late night world of television infomercials, commercials, and re-runs. The renowned Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper commercial came on with its catchy music, and Haley looked up into Derek's eyes full of hope to get up and get exactly that. Derek nodded his head, and slowly got up to grab his keys. Haley looked at the clock to see what time it was, but it seemed blurry from where she was standing. She figured it was from staring at the T.V. for the last few hours and caught up to Derek as he stood at the doorway slipping on his jacket.

The closest grocery store that was open at this time of night was a Vons in the next city over. As they pulled into the parking lot, they noticed there were only a few cars parked outside. The two walked unsuspectedly into the store in search of some soda, when Haley sensed some awkward stares from fellow shoppers. Covering her privates, she realized with a draft of cold air from the frozen food aisle, that she was naked! Derek stared one man down, and was said in a frustrated tone, "Did you see that guy looking at you?" Derek was a peaceful kind of guy with adorable blue eyes. His thick, wavy, medium-length hair was the color of milk chocolate, and worn in a semi-impractical style. He was a lot taller than Haley and, always called her "Hails" for short. Derek played a lot of sports growing up, so he was blessed with a graceful build. Though his style was a bit strange, it definitely complemented his eyes as his wardrobe consisted of a blue and tan color scheme.

Haley and Derek laughed as they broke the no shirt, no shoes, and no service rule at the grocery store. They continued to look for the Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper, but couldn't find it. Seeming as though they were at a loss for success, they didn't end up buying anything, and snuck passed the cashier before they got caught breaking the rules. The couple walked outside with wide-eyes. The sky was filled with more stars than skyscraper lights in Los Angeles. The stars were so clear that Haley saw a shooting star!

"Did you see that?" Haley said with excitement.

"Oh no! I missed it! I was too busy looking into your beautiful eyes..."Derek replied hoping to score a kiss.

Haley punched him in the arm and they both laughed. As they engaged in this play fighting, the two lovers started to kiss. Haley kept thinking about how amazing it felt. Lip to lip. It was probably the most powerful kiss she had ever experienced. It was the only kiss she had ever experienced. Tingles ran down her body. But right when the couple started to really get into it, Haley looked out of the corner of her eye, and saw a group of guys loitering around the parking lot.

She had seen these kids around before, and it was never good news. Each boy resembled a savvy alley cat. The droopy brown eyes with fine, straight, black hair. They were of various ethnicities, yet one couldn't tell with their long sleeves, and pants that drug across the pavement like a starving stray animal. Their wardrobe was unusual and weird, with a completely gray color scheme that blended in with the night.

They didn't look nice, so Haley told Derek to get in the car, and go. Right when they shut the doors, two guys came up to Haley's window, and pointed guns straight at the glass. She knew one of the guys from somewhere, and begged, "Please don't!"

He was unique among the rest and had deep-set gray eyes that were like two windows looking out on an overcast sky. He was shouting on the other side of the window, so his voice muffled a "Are you scared?!"

There was no mistake in guessing the hear-rate of the two lovers during this moment. Haley ducked, but right at that moment, they fired and broke the window.

"Hails!" Derek shouted in terror. "Cummon' you guys. Cut it out. We didn't do anything to you."

The one on the right with the gray eyes said, "Oh, so you think you're tough eh?" and pointed the gun straight into the car aimed at Derek.

Haley loved him, so she pushed the guys' arms up, and the gun ended up shooting the top of the car. The cashier inside heard the noise, and dialed 9-1-1, because she knew they were serious about shooting. However, when Haley pushed their arms up, the gun had managed to fall in her lap, so immediately, without a thought; she shot the guy with the gray eyes.

His friend then says, "Oh, so you think you are going to shoot me too?"

Haley wanted to, but he had a gun. So, she grabbed Derek's hand and forced the car into drive, as she aimed at him in the distance, and shot the front window of a car. Derek slammed on the gas, and they drove away as quick as possible. Haley then realized she still had the gun, and didn't know what to do with it!

"What am I going to do with this, Derek?!" She asked in hopeless frustration.

The lady on the T.V. then said, "Derek, what am I going to do? I can't live my life without your love!"

Haley realized that this had all been a dream. But she knew God saw what she did. Her dad always gave sermons on the Old Testament dreams being the tool of communication with God. What had she done? The guilt overwhelmed her, and that day in church was a difficult one. She sat in the front listening to her father preach about purity, and here the thought of killing someone crossed her mind. Haley thought to herself whether it was just as bad to kill someone in your unconscious, as it is to kill in your conscious in God's eyes?

"So that's when I decided to turn myself in, Doctor," as she wrapped up her first dream journal entry.

"Hmm..." The doctor gathered. "I am going to go through each event, and explain what translators have previously said about common events occurring in dreams, and what they really mean. Not everything is literal in a dream, my dear."

"How do you mean?"

"To start, in dreams, grocery stores are a place of necessity. We have to look at whether your need was fulfilled or not. This lets you know if you are looking in the right places for answers in waking life. Your need was obviously not met, so that means you aren't. It may also indicate looking for some sore of limited commodity in life such as the perfect mate, or perfect job, or perfect life."

"But why would I be looking for that? I thought I had the perfect life..." Haley said with a sigh.

"Nobody has that kiddo. Anyways, next comes the question of why you were naked. To put it in your terms, it has a Garden of Eden undertone to it. Once you notice you are naked, so does everyone else, and that is when self-consciousness arises. It may also indicate that you are growing weary of maintaining the facade that is your public self. Now, do you remember when I told you that man is also more moral than he realizes?"

"Yes... but I wasn't."

"Oh, but you were, child. The kiss! The actual allowance of the kiss brings about the awakening of passion. The dreams where you are about to kiss someone and you wake up symbolize a forbidden territory of kissing that person, but when you actually follow through with it, it brings about a sense of moral right to do so."

Haley was relieved as she replied, "Thank God. I love Derek. At least he is a good sign in my dream. However, I have no idea if he will still want to be with me after this."

The Doctor shook his head, "Don't worry about such things for now. The main part of your dream symbolizes something far more personal. First off, the appearance of guns in a dream often means that your environment threatens you. It may also represent a nearly desperate need to reassert personal control. Then, actually killing someone in a dream symbolizes getting rid of a facet of your own life that is shameful. If that person actually died, it may signify a development or transition of self. It may also symbolize stereotypes that need to be rethought as a greater self-understanding."

Haley thought about what that could mean in her life as Doctor Frassin continued.

"Now I am aware that you spoke with Chief Hyde at the police station about a certain kind of treatment, am I right?" Doctor Frassin inquired.

"Yes. I walked into the police station as an unconscious criminal, and tried confessing to a lady at the front desk. I knew she thought I was a crazy person, but she was kind enough to lead me to Chief Hyde." The Chief made one think of a scuttling lizard. He had slanted charcoal-colored eyes. His thick, curly, black hair was worn in a style that looked like he was wearing a helmet even off the bike. He had a moustache that looked out of place, as he stood tall and narrow. His skin was dark, along with his bushy eyebrows. Hyde's wardrobe was flattering, but only because it was the department uniform.

"He sat down with me, knowing my family and father pretty well from church. However, he didn't want to take any risks in case my dreams were premeditated plots to kill someone. It kind of scared me when he said that, but he told me that from prior knowledge, people who suffer from nightmares benefit from the ability to be aware they are dreaming. He said something about a pilot study being performed last year that showed lucid dreaming treatment was successful in reducing nightmare frequency. That is when he recommended me to you," Haley told the doctor.

"Hyde is a smart cookie," Doctor Frassin chuckled, "because even as early as the eighth century, Tibetan Buddhists were practicing a form of yoga supposed to maintain full waking consciousness while in the dream state.Experimenting with lucidity is more than what I originally planned on doing with you, but now that I think about it. It might be perfect. How would you like to have control in your dreams?"

"Wow, that would be great! How do you do that?" Haley asked willingly. "Well, let me explain. A lucid dream is a dream in which the person is aware that he or she is dreaming while the dream is in progress. During lucid dreams, it is often possible to exert conscious control over the dream characters and environment, as well as to perform otherwise physically impossible feats. I believe this may help solve your immoral behavior. You are obviously careful when you have control in your waking life, so to have that transgress into your dreams, this is the way!" The doctor smiled with great pleasure as he had come up with the perfect solution within minutes. Haley smiled in agreeance, and said, "So what do I have to do?" Doctor Frassin explained, "According to my research, or what some like to call Wikipedia online, the first step to lucid dreaming is recognizing that one is dreaming. This recognition might occur in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex which is one of the few areas deactivated during REM sleep, and where working memory occurs. Once this area is activated and the recognition of dreaming occurs, the dreamer must be cautious to let the dream delusions continue, but be conscious enough to recognize them. This process might be seen as the balance between reason and emotion." "Uhm..." Haley sat stumped in a foreign language of dream talk. "Can wikiwhatever explain that in my terms?" she said with a giggle. "Okay. To sum it up, you will learn how to recognize the fact that you are dreaming, while dreaming, so you can gain consciousness in this other life of yours," the doctor reasoned. "Sounds great!" Haley exclaimed. That week, Haley practiced day and night studying and analyzing her subconscious. On her last night, she got on her knees next to her metal-spring bed, and folded her hands together. She bowed her head to her chest, and whispered a prayer to God. As her knees felt rough against the cold cement floors, she felt as though she could honestly relate to Joseph now.

When his brothers shouted, "Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams."

Haley was in a cell, and a miraculous discovery of self came of her dreams. They opened up true meaning behind the actions. She knew now that Christianity wasn't about the actions, but the meaning behind them. The next day she shared this realization with Doctor Frassin.

"Well, my love. I believe you got it! Have you packed?" said the doctor with a big smile on his face. Yet another success in dream therapy.

"Of course. I practically did it in my sleep," joked Haley.

"Your parents are on their way, so I will personally escort my little dreamer down to the lobby. Your progress has been fantastic! Maybe you can see now that God is not judging us by these dreams we have, or illusions, but rather what we do with them in our conscious and waking life. There is only so much we can readily control."

"Doctor, your wise words will be with me always," as Haley's eyes watered.

As Haley's parents walked in the front lobby with open arms and huge smiles gracing their faces, she ran to them. Their embrace was warm, comforting, and understanding. Her mother brought her hand to Haley's face, and grinned as though she was looking into a mirror of her past. Her father then grasped her hand along with her luggage and said, "Let's go home."

After a lovely reunion at home, and a big plop onto her bed, Haley could think only of how much she had missed Derek this past week. Would he take her back after being sent to a hospital for the mental? Would he still call her "Hails," and lay around? She had to find out, so she decided to call him. However, right at that moment, Haley heard a tap-tap on her window.

"Hails, you up there?" Derek quietly shouted from the lawn below.

"Yes! I was just about to call you! Are you here to get your sweater, or have you missed me?" Haley said.

"I missed you," he said with a smile.

As Haley tip-toed down stairs to open the door for Derek, he bursted in, and squeezed her tightly. She didn't want to wake her parents, so she said, "Let's go for a drive, okay?"

"Okay!" as Derek knew the perfect couples spot that overlooked the entire city, yet far enough to see the stars.

As they began to drive around the hillsides, and up and down the windy roads, Haley could feel herself drifting. The week had worn her down, and the moment was so relaxing, her face started to press against the seatbelt into a nice little slumber. Derek stared at her in awe. How could a face so gentle and soft ever have a bad thought in the world? Derek saw that she had drifted, so he decided to make a quick stop at the grocery store and surprise her with her favorite soda; Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper. It was late, so there weren't many cars in the parking lot. He felt bad leaving her alone, but it was just a quick jog inside.

When he shut the door, it startled Haley. She woke up very sleepily. Her eyes were a bit blurred, but she managed to make out where she was. Once she realized she was in the grocery store parking lot, a rush of fear and deja-vu washed over her like a title wave hitting her hard.

"Okay... let's take this slow. I can do this." Haley whispered to herself in a quivering voice, "If this is a dream again, I will just wake up, and everything will be okay... But what if this isn't a dream?!" she exclaimed. "Doctor Frassin said that the best way to know if one is dreaming or not is to turn on/off a light. Dreams most often don't change in lighting."

Haley reached for the car dome light pushing it to see if the light would turn on. She repeatedly tapped the light to be sure this was a dream. The light did not turn on. Had she finally achieved lucidity in her dreams? This was her opportunity to prove to God that she is moral in conscious and she had translated her previous horrible dream into a transgression of self.

Haley saw Derek finally approaching the car. However, the loiterers were back. They were following Derek, and she signaled to him to hurry in the car. Once he got in, just like Haley suspected, one of the males put a gun to the window. Everything was panning out like her original dream. So Haley took the situation in her own hands. Once the gray-eyed man that she had killed before pointed the gun at Derek, she got in the way, and said, "Shoot me. It's fair now." Derek looked confused and worried, but couldn't act in the time that the first shot was fired to Haley's shoulder, and she started to bleed. Was she allowed to bleed in dreams, she thought? A cold breeze brushed along the blood dripping down her sleeve, and she shivered into a darkness. Her eyes slowly shut, yet a peace overwhelmed her body like God was holding her in His hands like the day he created her.

Haley woke up in the L.A. General Hospital. Her eyes opened to white walls as if she was back in the mental ward, and to her surprise, Doctor Frassin was the first person she saw.

"Do not worry my dear, you are okay," said the doctor in a calm voice.

Coughing, and slowly pulling herself up, Haley could feel this overbearing pain coming from her shoulder. "What happened?" she mumbled in a croaky voice.

"Well you weren't dreaming. And you aren't dreaming," the doctor smiled.

"Did I really get shot?" as she touched the bandages wrapped around her shoulder and her voice choked up.

"Yes, my dear, unfortunately so. However, the boys that did it are in jail now. Chief Hyde took care of them personally. Derek is okay, and in the lobby waiting to see you. What you did was very courageous, Haley! This was definitely out of the norm for the little dreamer that came into my office... I am very proud."

Haley smiled, and Doctor Frassin left. Her dad then entered with a black book in his hand. She knew already what it was. She had seen it her whole life. As her father sat next to her bed, he cracked open the bible, and began read the rest of the story of Joseph in Genesis.

He read, "In all dreams there is a foretelling of the future, but the Pharaoh's dream also contains a warning. Joseph tells Pharaoh that God has informed him of what will come to pass, in order that he is prepared and able to save his nation. Of the fact that the dream is repeated twice, he says "it is because this thing is determined by God and God will quickly make it come to pass. Haley, my child, the beginning of the story of Joseph is shown as "grazing the flock with his brothers," and the question is asked why Joseph sees himself and his brothers as "binding sheaves in the field?" They were shepherds and did not work the land! It seems that the sheaves where a precursory hint to Pharaohs dreams of the ears of corn and to Joseph's position as governor with one and all coming to him for bread. When his brothers came to him in order to buy food, they bowed down to him, exactly as foretold in his dreams. The true meaning of the dream of the sheaves, which begins the series of dreams in the story of Joseph, is only finally revealed at the very end of the narrative."

Haley re-evaluated the verse of Joseph, her life as a Christian, and life in general, as she sat awake to her unconscious mind, and avoided her left shoulder rolling over to look to the eyes of her father.

Tom Batt once said, "When we dream we make connections that astound us later...The same thing happens on the page when we forget ourselves and as it were, watch our own waking dream.... Later we can make sense of what we've created and craft it accordingly. That's when we appreciate the poetry of our unconscious mind."